Overthinking?

Katie Roo

Am I overthinking this, or is he overthinking this?  As you may know, my DH was recently told he has VD.  Over the past 2 weeks, he has been saying things that I think may be paranoia, or maybe he's just saying what he thinks.  He has a childhood friend, and the relationship has been awkward over the past few years for various reasons.  This friend recently invited us to eat with several other couples, who are also his classmates.  Hubby was saying he did not know why he was being invited.  They didn't talk much lately, and when they did, it seemed like friend didn't really want to talk to him.  Hubby feels like he's being placated by being invited.  Last night he spent 30 minutes telling me how he didn't care if we went, felt like we would be the 5th wheel, and hoped we didn't make a mistake by moving here because he doesn't have as many friends here as he thought he did. Nobody calls him to do anything. Now, TBH, he is an above knee amputee, and it does take extra effort when he goes out.  He will not call them and ask them to do anything, so not sure what he expects.  But, is this feeling like he's being invited out of sympathy, or being placated part of the progression of the disease?  Could it be something else?  I have noticed he gets more restless around 4pm, and is getting more forgetful.  So, I just don't know and don't know who else to ask but this group.  Sorry for the rambling, and hope this makes sense.  Thanks for your input.

Ed1937

Katie, it sounds as though he may be starting to deal with sundowning, since things change later in the afternoon. While we don't know why he was invited, I'd say that if he doesn't want to go, respect his wishes. If you went when he felt like he does, it could turn out to be something that you might regret. Neither of you need that.

M1

Katiie whatever the reasons, i think withdrawal from previous friends is pretty common, i certainly saw it in my partner, and it was hard to tease out exactly why.  So no, i don't think you're overthinking this, but there may not be a lot you can do about it. Are his friends aware of his diagnosis? Might help?