A disconcerting day

Elshack

DH has been in memory care since mid August. Thankfully it is in the bldg a 3 min walk from our independent living apartment. He has fallen a few times and today I got the call that he was slumped over in the dining room at breakfast and was non responsive. I have a DNR in place but I allowed them to take him across the street to the ER. He has been to the ER 5 times since July 31st.

5 hrs later they released him back to Memory Care. Of course I was with him the entire time he was in the ER. Blood work indicated no heart attack but he would need a CAT scan to see if he had a TIA or stroke or subdural hematomas. Oddly the CAT was in a mobile unit and not even in the hospital proper and it is freezing outside. ( small hospital )  I told the Dr that I didn't want them to do a CAT scan as I would not be taking further action no matter what the results were.

I went over to memory care an hr later and there DH was ..happily eating his supper and of course had NO memory of the traumatic previous 5 hrs.in the ER. His coloring looked alot better than mine! I felt very dizzy and weak as I can not eat when I am stressed. He is 92 and 1/2 and I am 83. I am relieved he didn't pass away at this time. I thought I would be prepared if and when the end happens but today I realized I definitely am not. 

I am crying as I type this. I have taken care of him for 4 yrs since his brain surgery but his bathroom issues became much worse and I had to put him in MC after he broke his ankle July 31st. Only you caregivers can relate to the emotional ups and downs of this disease. He was diagnosed 6 yrs ago. I don't even know what to pray for anymore. Thank you for reading this.

LaurenB

Elshack, I’m so sorry that you and your DH are going through this.

M1

So sorry elshack and glad to hear from you. Sounds like a very difficult day but you handled it well. But we are never fully prepared for the pain and loss. Hang in there.

Suzzin

I've gone through that a few times with my dad. Even recognizing what's happening (most likely a TIA), even knowing that he's told me he's "ready", it's heartbreaking and frightening. I hope you have been able to rest and recover yourself.