Do you ever get used to waiting it out? (mostly a vent)

LittleVolcano

So, it's Christmas (Merry Christmas everyone), and of course just the mention of it to my Mom (moderate ALZ, stage 6 probably, still manages many of her ADLs) has turned things sour (Where are we going? Where is that? What time? Who's that? Who are you? What about my [dead] parents? What am I bringing? etc. On loop of course)

I'm trying hard just to wait it out, but she's already chased Dad out of the house (threatened to call the cops, so he left to hopefully get her to calm down) and I'm trying hard not to spin into worst case scenarios (not being able to get her to change out of her stained pants with the hole in them in order to get her to my brothers house later today).

We started her on the lowest dose (12.5mg, I believe) of Zoloft (sertraline) a month ago, but I feel like she's getting worse (harder time understanding me, more agitated with Dad. Dad thinks it's giving her diarrhea, probably because we can't get her to take it with food [pills are a long story]). I'm disappointed. I was hoping these would make her more agreeable, but I feel like the opposite is happening.

Anyway, I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I guess I'm just spinning and trying not to get stuck in this moment and dumping it out here (I'm about to workout which should help).

Huge hugs to everyone in the trenches. 

Marta

LV:  let go of the idea that you are taking Mom anywhere today..

Tomorrow call her PCP and ask for a med adjustment. 

It can get better with the right meds, but you have to be the squeaky wheel at her PCP’s office.  

Zoloft does cause diarrhea even when taken with food.  Get her on a different med because diarrhea in a dementia patient is not doable.

With hope for a better tomorrow..

LittleVolcano

Thanks Marta, I left a VM with her geri specialist this morning. Mom did well for a little bit at my brother's Xmas gathering (so at least we have that), but Dad had to take her home before dinner. She was obviously tired from not sleeping the night before and for the first time didn't recognize me (co-primary) in person, so I couldn't even work my verbal magic to get her to a better place emotionally. I'm debating spending a week at their house to ensure that Mom gets fed/hydrated regularly to see if that's what's negatively affecting her moods (she won't eat what Dad [the stranger] makes her, and feeding herself might be getting inconsistent or unmanageable.)

[Vent coming next. Take with a shaker of salt.] My husband didn't help the matter by drinking too much then picking a fight with me late last night while I was coming down off a caregiving panic attack (way to be supportive, a-hole). He apologized this morning, but geez. Sometimes it's hard being the smartest person in the room, and I don't say that as an exaggeration. I am surrounded by idiots sometimes (seriously, I watched him washing the dog bowl this morning--one of his few jobs, and one I thought he could handle--and he was washing it with his fingers, not a sponge. I'd been noticing these strange finger-looking streaks amongst the film that typically accumulates in dog bowls, and was thinking, There's no way he's washing this bowl with his fingertips, is he??? Well, he is. Nowhere in my life plans was having to explain to a 47-year-old man how to wash a bowl). Ok, rant over. Time to escape to brunch with a friend.