Thanks to all of you in this forum

Stella Luna

I read a lot but cannot post to often because my DH shadows me from morning until he goes to sleep. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your journey and expertise.

JustBill wrote on Nov 18 that he looks for moments of light or happiness to carry him through the day. I have followed his advise, carving out moments to meditate, exercise, play tennis or bridge. These moments carry me through the day.

Sligo177

Stella Luna,

That sounds like an unbearable burden, being followed constantly.  You do need respite!  Your physical and mental health are essential.  Please continue to find the happy moments you can, and if you can talk yourself into it, get away for more hours of time.  You need it to stay sane and to be able to care for him.  I know, easier said than done, I am the same, Bless you and Happy 2023.

Ed1937

Stella, does he actually read what you have on your screen? I was active on the site even when my wife was in very early stage, with her sitting two feet away from me. She never seemed too interested in what I was doing, so I could read and post all I wanted. I think the more active you are on the forum, the more you will get out of it.

ghphotog

I know all about shadowing from sunup to sundown. Can't even hide for two minutes in the bathroom.

Just Bill

I try to give myself 2 windows of me time. Early in the morning before she wakes up and late at night after she has gone to bed. I get up at 4 and workout and meditate for an hour and a half, before bed I just meditate without the workout for an hour. Meditation for me is breathing exercises. She shadows me all day but I don't let it bother me. I welcome her to join whatever it is I'm doing but she won't. She just likes hanging out and asking a million questions so I let her. I bring her to work and golf and everything else I have to do. She is good company and I don't have to worry about her. It used to bother me but I think the more I tried to stay away from her the more she wanted to hang out. Now by giving her an open invitation to interrupt me whenever she wants she gives me more space. The more I meditate on having more patience the more I can handle the absolute weirdness of this journey. I have adapted so much to conversations that are from an altered reality I wonder If I talk to everyone like they are demented. Kinda like the way a kindergarten teacher talks to everyone like they are a child. If she wakes up with me or stays up with me I just do my thing and say this is Bill time and you can join me if you would like but I need to finish. Because I let her interrupt me all day she will give me my early mornings and late nights. I have adapted to this routine and look forward to those golden hours early in the morning and late at night. I can handle anything the day brings knowing those windows are in place.

Stella Luna

Sligo 177, I go out two times a week a few hours. The problem is he has delusions that I go out with other men, he becomes very agitated when I go out. Seroquel has helped with this but now he is refusing to take medication and we struggle until he does.

Stella Luna

Ed, my DH doesn’t read what I post but he is constantly asking  what I am writing, whom I am talking to on the phone ( I have to leave the phone on speaker otherwise he gets suspicious), and what I am thinking. Maybe I should just ignore him, what do you suggest?

JustBill, unfortunately I am not a morning person but I am working on that so that I can enjoy a golden hour to meditate and just be by myself. I can also leave the house when my son is working from home and play tennis with my friends for a short period of time.

Thank you all for replying and sharing your wisdom.

Ed1937

Stella Luna wrote:

 Maybe I should just ignore him, what do you suggest?

Who knows what will work? I'd say to try to ignore him, and see how it goes. If that doesn't bother him, you found the answer. If it upsets him, keep in mind that he can't help it. It's not his fault. Then you're back to square one.

Stella Luna

Thanks Ed, you are a wonderful contributor to this forum.