9 weeks in memory care and destructive

Spanky77

Hi, 

I’ve been visiting my DH almost daily. Each time I go there, there’s a little more destruction in his room from the night time. (After visiting hours-breaks my heart). He has marred up the walls, broke a toilet, mirror, door, 4 door handles, 3 thermostats (one in another resident room), broke his little table and dresser. I gently keep removing things and the staff are really patient except I heard today they shut his door at night (understandable because otherwise he will go down the halls and scream and wake up everyone. They don’t lock the door (illegal) but they do shut it from what I understand). Anyway. I digressed. . Question: is this normal? Has anyone gone thru this with destruction?  My DH was always such a gentle soul. We’re working on Med adjustments. ‘Just needed to check in again. I pray a lot. I just cried a lot. This was a first Christmas season -kinda tough. Sigh. 

Thanks for any thoughts. I wish I could go and visit and not see more destruction he did night before because I feel so bad and sad like he becomes alert or scared  I can’t bring him home due to safety  :..(

Sligo177

Spanky,

My heart aches for you!  And yes, I am going through something similar with my DH.  I visit just about daily.  He too is a gentle soul, a wonderful man who has become  a thrower of objects, and though he never would swear with anyone else but me, now shares cuss words with whoever is around...it all sounds just like my DH.  He has broken several items, including a TV, 2 lamps, and some vases.  I have taken most of the things from his room that could hurt him or others.  We are trying to get his meds adjusted, too.  He will see a psychiatrist soon, although I think that's just to make sure he is getting the right meds.  I did skip 2 days ago because he was pretty agitated with me, and then yesterday I cut the visit short and said, OK I'm going, after he knocked over a cup of juice toward me.  You are definitely not alone.  He's been in MC since August 1st. 

toolbeltexpert

Spanky and Sligo I haven't been thru that much, but I sure hope that you both can get the meds they need. I went thru a time when my wife's meds were not being given as directed, missed doses, too much. I ask pretty regular what she is getting and when. You would be surprised how orders get lost or misinterpreted? Never hurts to ask since our lo's have no way to do it.

Spanking I am glad the facility has been so understanding.

None of this is easy. 

Stewart

mrl

Hi Spanky,

Sorry to hear this, but I would look into Seroquel (?) before bedtime.

M

Ed1937

I really feel bad for those of you putting up with this. I think the right combination of meds is really important, and although I have no experience with it, many on the forum have had success with seroquel.

ghphotog

That's rough! 

My DW has always been very nice and gentle but lately had been getting extremely emotional and angry with my mom. Yesterday was the worst so far as she tried to kick at the trash can but nothing compared to what you are seeing. Hope that part doesn't get worse. The last thing we need are two people punching holes in walls

Marie67

I've been dealing with same issues with DH, for last 6 months. Neurologist switched him over to serequal, which calmed him down some. But he still has episodes of throwing and kicking things. Just not as often. I think this is going to be something where meds we changed to keep up with his changes in behavior. I'm taking care of him at home, and it just wears me down.

Ci2Ci

I have nothing more to offer than my deepest empathy for you all. (I'm hoping that my LO headed to SNF direct from geri-psych won't experience same.)  It is heartbreaking for all involved. And so sad to see how such a lovely soul is negatively altered by the disease. *sigh*