For what it is worth...

Ci2Ci

For the past 2 years of caregiving my LO -- remotely and in my home 24/7 -- I tried to establish a 'signature' for her. By that I mean, something unique to connect us -- something that hopefully would remind her that I was a friendly. A secret handshake, if you will.

Signature: My LO takes a drug called Olmesartan, for blood pressure. It is a big pill, which she would often comment about during medicine taking (over the phone or in person). 

I would say: "You know why that Olmesartan pill is so big?"

She'd say, "Why?"

I'd sing: "Because Olmesartan had a farm, E-I-E-I-Olmesartan."

She would groan, chuckling. She would very often catch on right away and say "I don't want to know", or such. 

(Might be past that stage with her now. But, it was fun while it lasted.)

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Maybe a signature could be as simple as family always wearing the same color when visiting LO. A certain hat or other bold item of clothing. (Baseball hat reading "Team Betty" or whatever?) I mean, who knows what might stick with them. Those tactics are harmless and cost nothing. 

zauberflote

Ci2ci I laughed out loud! My mother would have loved that if it had any application for her. I fon't know what my signature was with her. She was in MC after AL, and the sight of me generally gave her a shock-- pleasurable until the last few months, when it was a shock of desperation. I (whether she knew me for her daughter that day or not; I never pushed it) was the one who could get her out of this horrible place in life that was her present. I couldn't, of course, but I could take her to a quieter room where she could relax a little....

Maybe my signature was, I was the only one who knew her life. Her people were my people, and her place was even my place long enough for me to know it well enough. We could tell each other stories. Mine often started, "Well I din't know about that, but I do remember thus and such..."

Ci2Ci

zauberflote wrote:

Maybe my signature was, I was the only one who knew her life. Her people were my people, and her place was even my place long enough for me to know it well enough. We could tell each other stories. Mine often started, "Well I din't know about that, but I do remember thus and such..."

That's nice that your LO responded well to those rememberances. (Sadly, my LO gets paranoid to learn that I -- a perceived stranger -- know so much about her life. I found that triggered stranger-danger, so I stopped. Likewise, I stopped mentioning my name or my relationship to her, unless she asked me.)