Missing Mom and I have Covid

dmered21

Hi Y'all,

My Mom lives about 20 minutes away in a small residential memory foster home. And, I have a bad case of Covid. Of course, I'm staying away and keeping her safe. I'm just really, perhaps jealous, of losing this time with her. She's very late stage, and we have Hospice care involved. They're all wonderful. Just feeling extremely sad, and I've got to buck myself up for my daily phone call with her. She still knows I'm hers, but no longer knows my name very well. 

The thing was today, I woke up thinking I could hear her making me breakfast in the kitchen. Like she used to. I could smell it. And then it all rushed over me again. She's still here in body, but she's about 90% on the other side. I cried for a couple of hours. I don't cry that much anymore.

I have got to get it together. My Covid T line is getting fainter by the day, but I still feel it in my lungs, so I'm not taking any chances, no matter what the home test says. I'll be waiting another week for an official test, and then I'll visit. I feel so lost. She's been my true best friend my whole life. We always say we're a team. I'm going to be a team of one soon. I have to stop feeling sorry for myself. It's just hard today--and maybe partially the evil covid itself messing with my emotions. 

Thank you for letting me vent for a bit.

Dawn

Ed1937

Dawn, I'm sorry it's so hard, but I understand where you're coming from. I lost my wife on June 24 of this year, and we were always a team too. I still miss her terribly, think about her almost all day long, and dream about her most nights. I'm sorry you are going through this, and I wish you a full and speedy recovery.

dmered21

Thank you.

SusanB-dil

Uggh!  Dawn, sorry you are dealing with all that.  Like 'this' isn't hard enough...   ((hugs))

Jo C.

Dearest Dawn, you are an awesome, very loving daughter and advocate for your beloved mother.  I am sorry for what is happening; nasty viruses can also make us more "feeling" of emotions when having difficult situations or sometimes even just because.

So hope your test comes out nicely negative so you can get to your mother's side soon.  If she still knows who you are; perhaps you could send her a small flower arrangement for her night stand; you will then be with her in a different sort of way; I suspect you are the beautiful flower of her life.

It is good Hospice is with your mother and that they will communicate with you keeping you up to date.   Wonder if the facility or Hospice could facilitate a Zoom meeting with your mother if she is able to process that.

It is lovely that you have such a wonderful relationship with your mother and that you have and will have many wonderful memories which are the treasures of the heart.

Let us know how you are and how things are going, we will be thinking of you,

J.

Beauchene105

Dawn, so very sorry. I ached reading about you imagining her cooking breakfast. What a wonderful relationship you have enjoyed. It is so hard. Do what works for YOU to keep on keeping on. Hang in there, there are many of us & we understand!