Restless Spouse Syndrome

RobertsBrown

My wife gets all her steps in at night.  I generally sleep through it, but on occasion I come awake and then the night is shot.  She is unrelenting.  Morning has the top sheet crunched into the foot board, and the comforter....well, it varies.

I sleep hot, so I don't mind the cover theft, but....dang woman, give it a rest already.  A few years ago I tried letting 80 pounds of Farm Dog sleep on the bed with us. That seemed to settle her, but it was just too hot for Rob.

Not really looking for a solution, just sharing a common experience.

Another 3:00am post.  Yay!

ghphotog

I hear you! I'm usually up by 4 or 5 escorting my wife to the potty about 6 times within the hour along with lots of emotional drama. 

Our Golden Collie sleeps on the bed with us and even though she sheds a lot it's worth it to have her up there with us. More so for me than my DW I think but our dog Lacie brings comfort.

Another Day

It's all day every day and all night every night.....and repeat. Sorry for what you're going through. We're all here for the same reason. I'm new to this site, finding comfort in having explanations for some of the behaviors that are over the top some days. The one I haven't found anything on is my DH stealing things. What do you know?

Whyzit

Hi Robert, DH is also a restless sleeper who turned me into a real monster. Things have improved since I bought twin beds. We are both sleeping better. We have given up on top sheets for him as they end up on the floor as a tripping hazard. He sleeps with one quilt that still gets wadded up but he seems to manage. I’m glad the blanket thief has disappeared from my bed.

Just Bill

My wife talks and twitches acting out her dreams in addition to snoring pretty loud. I use those ear plugs jet engine mechanics wear. The foam ones you roll and then put in your ear and they expand. You can hear your heartbeat and your bones squeak. I sleep through all the noise she makes. The twitching I just get used to. Even though I am asleep my brain is aware when she gets up and an automatic countdown begins. If she comes back within an allotted time it's back to sleep. If she takes too long wake up and investigate. I have gotten real good at waking up dealing with whatever got her up, get her back to bed and sleeping and being able to go back to sleep myself. That took awhile. It used to be if I was woken up more than twice I was up for the night. Now I can sleep anywhere anytime for any length of time anytime day or night. Physical, emotional, mental and spiritual exhaustion help with that.

JoseyWales

I do not miss the months of restless spouse syndrome. Here it progressed to going to "bed" around 7:30. Bed included falling asleep on the couch. We spent months sleeping on the couch, and I often slept sitting up because there just wasn't room to lie down while watching him. Then he'd be up every 2-3 hours for 2-3 hours, before falling asleep again. Repeat until 6 am. He never slept during the day. I think he slept 5-6 hours a night total.

I love sleep. I love going to bed in my bed. I love sleeping the night through. 

Newground

My RSS includes waking up in the darkness and seeing a silhouette of my wife hunched over staring at me in the bed. She keeps that up and I'll need diapers.

JamesDow

What are steps?

JamesDow

What are steps>

MaryG123

Sadly, after 45 yrs., we are no longer sleeping together.  Now he can move around without waking me up, and I can get a full night’s rest.  We miss the snuggling though.

ThomasPickett

I am sorry to hear that.

M5M

ghphotog wrote:

I hear you! I'm usually up by 4 or 5 escorting my wife to the potty about 6 times within the hour along with lots of emotional drama. "……………

I imagine DW  getting up repeatedly at night is primarily from Alz, but as a female I’d offer this… I have read ( and experienced) that vaginal dryness creates several symptoms - itching as well as need to pee more frequently. A vaginal lubricant helps immensely although I am sure getting it applied would be a difficult to impossible task. Maybe check with a gynecologist or internist. If she is more comfortable then maybe the potty excursions would decrease a little. All this would depend greatly on what capabilities she still has. 

RobertsBrown

Hey Jamesdow,

'Steps' are a term used by people that are walking for exercise.  There are watches and phones that count how many 'steps' you take in a day, and these people have target numbers.

In my case, I was just expressing that she appears to be moving her legs a lot in her sleep, like walking, and it pulls the covers down and piles them at the foot of the bed.

Sleep marching.

Rob-

Howaboutnow

I’ve been in midst of restless spouse for many months, day and night. For others, how long has this lasted?

eaglemom

Sadly this is a topic many of us can relate to, and are experiencing. One thing I stumbled upon that has helped is relaxing music. Just before I turn the light off for the night I put YouTube on calming music. I set it just loud enough DH can hear it, but he has to concentrate to hear it. That puts him out fairly quickly. I let it play all night. On those restroom runs he gets back in bed and is asleep immediately. There are all sorts of relaxing sounds you can try out.

As a funny side note around Christmas time I put it on relaxing Christmas music. He was out immediately, like usual. However, I was wide awake - singing the songs in my head! I had to change that music so I could rest.

Just try it and see. Its soothing, that's for sure.

eagle

gwilly

If my husband has his nightly pint of vodka he falls asleep in his chair and I can have some peace. If not he doesn't sleep well at all and manages to keep me awake too with internet browsing, comments, and worries about things he can't control. So as much as the drinking has always gotten on my nerves, now it's kind of a relief.