Closer to Stage 7

GothicGremlin

I'm afraid that hearing about our uncle's death has acted as a catalyst for Peggy's slide. He passed away on the 23rd, and every day since then, including today, Peggy has brought this up. She's a little hazy on whether he's actually dead, ("Uncle N is still dead, right?"), and then right after that, she asks if our aunt is okay. She is. I just can't get her out of this loop.

Eighteen days of this. Two days ago staff found her in her room curled up in a ball on the bed, crying and holding a family photo of all of us. She's also been anxious and depressed. I've seen this when I'm there, but it happens a lot when I'm not there too. Usually singing will help cheer her. Peggy has always liked Fleetwood Mac so we make sure to always have some of their stuff sitting around for her to listen to and to sign along. But even that isn't working these days.

I spoke with her doctor today and we're increasing her sertraline from 50mg to 100mg. She starts that tomorrow. We'll give that a couple of weeks and see how she does. If it's not enough, we'll move on to something else.

This afternoon I wasn't able to go in person so I gave her a call. She was convinced the caregivers ("the ladies") were going to eat Uncle N. I assured her I'd talk to the memory care director about it, which calmed her down.

Peggy's friend M has noticed the dramatic difference as well. He sees Peggy every other day. Her friend D calls her almost every day and has said the same.

There have been a few other things as well, but all of us (staff included) are thinking she's moving into Stage 7. I guess I think so too.

So bummed right now.

CanyonGal

It’s difficult conversation when my mom asks if her brother is dead, she thinks he is, but not  sure. I remind her she is correct, he passed away. She started hiding pictures of people who had died, as to erase that fact that eventually we all die. My husband thought it was odd behavior.

SusanB-dil

Hope the increased dosage helps. Sorry brother had no clue what this would do...  I know you tried to stop him from telling her.  Understand bummed out.  ((hugs))

Jgirl57

GG, sorry you are feeling bummed and your sister

is struggling . I have been following your story and I admire

the loving sister that you are . Every time I look at your profile 

photo it makes me smile; it reminds me of me and my sisters .

I hope the medication increase helps give your sister some peace and rest.

Hugs to you.

Quilting brings calm

It’s definitely possible that this is normal progression, increased by depression  about your uncle.  Hopefully the sertraline increase will help the latter.  Some of her concerning symptoms may abate once the anxiety/depression gets better.  

I bet you are probably pretty stressed about all this too.  It’s just so frustrating when people say or do things that set our loved one off, and then the person just goes on about their life while we  deal with the aftermath. 

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

Sorry to hear about this turn of events, Gothic. My mom occasionally gets really upset and teary-eyed, once in a while because she believes that dad's dead (he's not, just at work).  I usually give her bunch of hugs and kisses and it helps calm her down.

It's so distressing seeing them upset and not being able to make it better. Maybe in time she'll move on from the loop and hopefully the medicine change can help facilitate it. It's a hard balance.

((Hugs))

GothicGremlin

Thank you, all of you.  It's been a rough haul.

Quilting - I agree with you, I'm sure a big part of this is the normal progression. The thing that irritates me is that we've all tried to do things to make Peggy's symptoms less severe. And my brother blew it all up, and unfortunately Peggy is paying the emotional price.

Jgirl57 - Thank you for that bit of sweetness. I smiled as I read your post.

CanyonGal - It's just the weirdest thing, isn't it? Not being sure if a particular relative is alive or dead. In my sister's case, she still isn't 100% sure our uncle has really passed on.

Susan and Cats - thank you. Peggy's started her new medication, but I think it will take a little bit of time to see if it's helping. I can say though that even though we spent a lot of time today talking about our aunt and uncle, Peggy was fairly cheery. I was able to get her to laugh a few times, which I'll take as a win.

I'm in a somewhat better frame of mind now (and resting up for the next piece of chaos that heads my way, whatever that may be). Spending time with Peggy and seeing her start to rebound has helped. Also, Peggy's friends D & M have rallied around both me and Peggy, which has just been wonderful. It kind of restores my faith in people seeing how those two have just been there for Peggy, from the get go.