Memory Board - Helpful or frustrating

LaurieRZ

I moved my mom to an AL after a hospital stay. She has never been open to leaving her house, so I just tell her she's in rehab. The facility has several activities every day and they tell me she participates. When I talk to her, she doesn't remember the activities. She told me this morning she was tired of being stuck in her room all day, which I know isn't the case. I have a picture I took of her during one of the activities and I know the facility takes pictures. I thought about hanging a picture board in her room and putting the pictures of her participating in activities. I wondered if that would help her to see she is enjoying herself at times or would it frustrate her that she can't remember the times in the picture? Has anyone done anything similar?

M1

I think I would let it go Laurie.  My partner tells me the same things, and none of it is true, and nothing changes her mind.  You're still wanting/hoping that her mind will respond to rational triggers, and it can't.  My partner tells me she's sick of being in MC, hasn't seen me in a year (even though I'm there twice a week), etc. etc. etc.  No reminders help.  Still plans on moving to Texas as soon as she gets her truck back.  She's been in MC for coming up on ten months now.

Bob in LW

Based on my experience with my SO, who has short term memory loss, your mother's memory of that event is gone, and you can't bring it back.  She will probably recognize herself in the photos, but it will be as a distant observer.

Last week, my SO and I were at a live stage show.  One of the acts was a comedian who kept us laughing the entire time. She commented at the time that he is the funniest guy she has ever seen. The next day, I found one of that comedian's bits on You Tube and decided to send a link to some of her family members. When I showed it to my SO, she had no memory of the show and laughed again at the same act that we had seen less than 24 hours before. 

When dealing with a person with short term memory loss, always be prepared to be surprised.

MN Chickadee

I wouldn't bother, I doubt it would convince her or register at all. The brain of a person with dementia just isn't going to process logical evidence and make proper conclusions anymore. Presenting "evidence" contrary to my mother's distorted reality did nothing except make her distrustful of me. Just go with the flow, don't correct her.  Be glad she is participating and encourage the staff to continue to nudge her to the activities. Was the move to AL recent? The transition can take a long time, like many months, and PWD  are often dissatisfied and complain a lot until it becomes the new normal.

CaliforniaGirl-1

Let it go. She doesn't remember and showing her won't make her remember. It will only upset her that she forgot.  A few minutes later she will have forgotten your showed her.  We are all struggling, or maybe it is just me,  with the instinct to show our LOs and try and convince them of things, particularly positive things.

LaurieRZ

Seems the concensus is to let it go, so that's what I will do. She has been at the AL for about two weeks, so this is new for both of us. It's funny, because she thinks I never visit and it's been months since she's seen me. My son took my ex-husband up there to visit this week and she still remembered it a couple of days later.