Isolation impact

M1

Shredded a tire on my way to visit my partner this afternoon, barely made it to my usual tire and oil change place. They didn’t have a tire to fit. My daughter is out of town. Hit me that there was literally no one except Uber that I could call. And a 40-mile Uber is the last thing I want. 

Really, really brings home the need to work on not being so isolated. And makes all the issues of losing your spouse reverberate in a really bad way.

MaryG123

You are so right M1.  It’s very humbling.  I decided we needed to move from the country to town, and we made the transition almost two years ago.  I now have neighbors and garden club friends I can call in a pinch.  I hope you found someone to help you.

jfkoc

M1...that was a jolt. Any thoughts of moving?

Joydean

M1, I can definitely understand your day!  I have been in the process of downsizing. Had a couple of large pieces of furniture I wanted to donate to helping hands (an organization that helps needy) anyway finally got them loaded in dh’s truck. (Not doing that again!) when I realized two of the tires were low. Got the air compressor out and realized I had never used it before. I’ve seen dh use it but never really paid a lot of attention. I plug it in and just standing there looking at it! I really wanted to pull the girl thing and cry. I really wished I had a neighbor that could just tell me how to use it. Did some praying and started just pushing and pulling on things, and thank goodness it started! I was so happy you would have thought I had just won the lottery. Got those tires aired up and decided right there I wasn’t going to let the truck sit so long without checking on it again.   I know that’s not the same as ruining a tire and not being able to get another one. But feeling helpless and alone I get that. 

Hope you made it to see your partner and made it home safely. 

M1

Five hours and $2000 later i made it home. I have to give the guy credit, when he saw how flummoxed I was at no one to call, he made a special run to get me four new tires and had them on by closing time. So no, the visit didn't happen, but oh well. Im glad i could afford the new tires.

Jfkoc, my dilemma about moving is complicated and has huge financial issues. Long story short, best that i stay put for now. But i certainly think about it. I would have been okay had my daughter been in town, but yes, it was a jolt.

M1

PPs joydean good for you on the air compressor!!

Battlebuddy

   Sorry M1 that you had the tire issue. I’m glad at least it was resolved and you have peace of mind  now that all the tires are good. 

   I have been thinking about this post for the last couple of days. Been asking myself how isolated I am , and if I’m prepared if certain issues crop up. Just having one person you can call if you get “ stuck” somewhere is so important. It’s a new season we are living in - the solo season. So much has to be done alone or solo. 

   I appreciated Joydean’s story of the compresser . I had one but gave it away rather than try and figure it out. So I think you getting it to work was a big win!  

toolbeltexpert

We all can feel so out of place. I could do any of those things, tires compressors, definitely not bragging, get me in a medical situation and I flounder as many of you know, I  thank m1 for all the times you gave me solid advice, get me in a legal situation same thing, thanks Crushed for all your advice.

To all the folks who have a compassionate ear thanks for listening, to many names to list.

 The days of nieghbors helping nieghbors and folks stopping to help someone on the road seem distant now. 

My church family is my help in time of need. I got a call several yrs ago at 2 am on Sunday morning from a friend from church. His wife was slowly passing away, he had gotten a hoyer lift and it wouldn't work and asked if I would come and check it out. So I woke dw and told her. I got there, 10 miles away,  and discovered it had 2 batteries and one was dead, I took it home and tried to charge it to no avail. I got online and found that home depot had that battery. I was there when the doors opened on Sunday morning. I bought the battery installed it which fixed the problem I had driven over a 100 miles and made it to church by 9 am.

I wished I could be of service but for most of us 100's if not 1000's of miles seperate us. So I pray for you all everyday.  M1 I am glad you got the help you needed and you are having some success visiting, albeit in groups.

If anyone has any mechanical, electric ect and need any advice feel free to ask, I would be glad to share my p#. my favorite saying is I don't know everything, but I know where to look.

White Crane

M1, I'm so glad you got those new tires and got home okay!  It is a sad and lonely feeling to realize there is no one to call.  Sometimes even living in the city it's hard to find someone to help.

White Crane

M1, I'm glad you were able to get those new tires!  Feeling isolated with no one to call is so distressing.  Sometimes even living in the city it is hard to find someone to help.

Mint

   I’m fairly isolated even with family.  When I had my cataract surgery took a cab to and from.  All my family was working on the day they did them.  This may affect my plans for my future.  Realize as I continue to age will be more and more of a problem.  May be why I end up in a congregate setting.

An older male employee at Lowe’s was so helpful to me.  I went in looking to buy a compressor.  I knew how to use one from my dad teaching me.  He said what are you going to use it for?  Explained it was to keep my tires inflated.  He says let me show you what you need.  He says this is what I use and it’s great.  It is a Kobalt air inflator.  The one I bought is electric not battery and it is around $90 here.  Also can plug into car to use.  See there is a battery one also, don’t know about it.  The thing is fantastic.  Very small and compact.  Keep it hidden in my trunk. Grateful to the man for helping me out.  Many in my family now own one. 

At another box store I asked a young employee some questions about a leaf blower.  He didn’t have answers for me, which I understand.  When he walked away an older gentleman who was a customer there came over and answered my questions and told me where I could get what I was looking for.  He  said I own one and it has served me well.  Has served me well too. Thankful for those sent my way to help me through life.

Hope someone who needs an air inflator finds this helpful.

toolbeltexpert

Well I got an opportunity to make a difference, I left the mcf early and was on my way home When I encountered an old man walking on the hwy, here thats a 2 lane road with 55 speed limits. He was shuffling and limping and not many people walk on the hwy because it's dangerous. I thought he shouldn't be out here so I got to my drive and thought I can't leave him walking like that so I turned around and stopped and asked if he was OK, he said yes and here is what got me concerned, I am just walking home down the road he said. I thought he might have dementia. Well I went down the road and pulled off where I could see him. I called the non emergency number and reported his position and condition. They said they would send someone out to check. Well he almost fell several times and someone's dog came out and harassed him. I drove ahead to see if the help was coming and after 5 minutes I went back and he was holding on to someone's mail box. I stopped again and asked him if he needed a ride, so he got in and I asked his name and where he lived. 2 miles from where I picked him up, I called the emergency folks and told them what I was doing. To cancel  the help. I pulled in his driveway and he didn't  have any money and wanted to pay me, I replied I was glad to be a friend for a neighbor. I hope he wasn't showtiming and that was his home he walked around the back so I don't  really know. He was 80 yrs old. Not patting myself on the back, I was so greatful for the opportunity to be in the right place at the right time.

mrahope

Toolbeltexpert, it was so kind of you to exhibit that degree of compassion for a stranger.  You may have saved a life.  When I feel really alone, I try and remember that people like you are still in existence in the world.  I, too, want to be of service, and if I survive this caregiving journey, I hope to be.

zauberflote

We have one of those plug-in tire inflators. It takes a while but very handy. We also carry in each car one of those battery-booster devices, which is a little miracle black box as far as I'm concerned. No more waiting for somebody to come along and give you a jump!

M1 what a saga. I'm sorry it had to be all 4 tires but that means you have AWD? which is comforting!

M1

Gratifying that so many have read and responded.  Kudos, Stewart, for doing absolutely the right thing.

Maybe the lesson is that we all need to do what we can to stay in touch and connected.  I was so grateful to the tire guy yesterday, i told him as I as checking out how bad I felt, and that my spouse now in MC being the reason I didn't have anyone to call.  He was very understanding and I hope I made him glad to know he had really helped.  

This is indeed a very isolating experience and takes huge efforts on all our parts not to be overhwelmed by it.

Great discussion of ways to keep your tires inflated too!!!!  I do have AWD Zauberflote.  But don't like runflats.  I hadn't hit anything, it just shredded on its own apparently.  They said they've seen it before.

Ed1937

M1, what an experience! I'm glad the end result was something that you could live with. But I'm sorry you missed seeing your partner. 

Whenever I'm driving in the country, I see these nice farms, and think how nice it would have been to live there 40 or 50 years ago. But not any longer.

Probably 25 years ago, I bought a small air compressor at a garage sale for less than $10.00. Last year I bought a new pancake air compressor, but never use it. I'm still using the garage sale bargain.

Mint

Zauberflote if you have time would appreciate the name of the miracle black box so I can check into it.

Joe C.

M1, It was great that the shop stepped up and got you back on the road. In November my car unexpectedly had to go into the shop & I was stuck at home with no transportation. I was certainly feeling isolated but I did have family members nearby that could run me back and forth for the repair shop.

Joydean

Sayra thanks for the heads up. Next time I go to Lowe’s I’m getting one!

M1 glad you got your new tires and there really are good and helpful people still around.  

Steward glad you were at the right place at the right time for that gentleman!

None of us really know what we can do until we are truly faced with it. A lot like taking care of our loved ones with this horrible disease. 

Don’t know what I would do without this wonderful group of people! Thank you all! 

Mint

Glad you found this helpful Joydean.