Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

Opinions Please(1)

ElCy
ElCy Member Posts: 151
Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Likes 5 Care Reactions
Member
in Caring For a Spouse or Partner
The hospital said that in the next few days they will recommend DH return to memory care or geripsych. He was at a geripsych hospital for 4 weeks 2 months ago. That facility does not allow visitors. Do you think it would be best for him to return there since they know him and will be able to see first hand how far he has declined or should I try for a unit that will allow him to see me.  He still know me, loves me, wants me to be around. I’ve been with him at the hospital every day for about 14 hours

Comments

  • Ed1937
    Ed1937 Member Posts: 5,091
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Likes 250 Care Reactions
    Member

    ElCy, that's an awful lot of time to spend at the hospital. That must be wearing you down. Wherever you decide to put him, you might want to consider shortening the hours you are putting in there. You have to take care of yourself.

    That must be a hard decision to make when considering the pros and cons. I don't think you can make a wrong choice. If you were satisfied with how they handled things the last time, that could be taken into consideration too. I wish the best for both of you.

  • ImMaggieMae
    ImMaggieMae Member Posts: 1,053
    1000 Comments 250 Likes Third Anniversary 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member
    You asked for opinions. Mine is that I would never put my loved one in a facility that didn’t allow visitors. Just reading here about all of the understaffed facilities and ones with very substandard care such as dirty sheets, patients lying in dirty or urine soaked clothing, meds being missed or patients being neglected and falling would make me want to check every day to make sure care is adequate.
  • ElCy
    ElCy Member Posts: 151
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Likes 5 Care Reactions
    Member
    He did great there the first time they really helped him. But, that being said, he was continent at the time and had most of his ADLs.
  • piozam13
    piozam13 Member Posts: 72
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    Member

    My opinion - when our doctor said - he's not going home, because I'm taking and checking him into the hospital.  My response was - you're not taking him anywhere unless I go with him.  I would have been miserable.  I felt that he wanted me around and now I have good memories of our time together those last two weeks.

  • toolbeltexpert
    toolbeltexpert Member Posts: 1,583
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
    Member

    Elcy I get it. Such a hard choice. You know what's right for you. I don't know how you do 14hrs but we know your so dedicated. Are you in any danger of losing his place at the memory care? Are they open to him coming back as is?

    Praying for you always

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,668
    Seventh Anniversary 1,000 Likes 2500 Comments 500 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member
    ElCy-

    I don't feel like you can make a case for a hospital admission without a medical need. 

    HB

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

Community Guidelines


Click here to review the ALZConnected Community Guidelines

Categories