Showers(2)

Christy625

My mother and father-in-law both have a form of dementia.  They both are at different levels of progression and tend to rub off on each other.  They do not shower as often as they should.  My mother-in-law does not accept her diagnosis and thinks she is perfectly fine.  She is not approachable with a lot of things.  My father-in-law genuinely doesn't remember when he last did anything.  How do I encourage more showers?  I have had a social worker recently say just get the bathroom ready.  This would not work at all with my mother-in-law.

Thanks!

ZackFootInMouth

How open would your MIL be to shower alternatives?

https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/daily-care/bathing     

harshedbuzz

Yesterday was a big day for this question.

I answered a similar post--

Alzheimers (alzconnected.org)

HB

Ed1937

There are a couple of things you could try, but may or may not work. 

1. Make sure the room is plenty warm for her.

2. Make it as pretty and inviting as you can.

3. Have an Alexa or something similar in the room with music playing that she would like.

4. Maybe even try some aroma therapy with calming scents.

5. Sometimes they will comply with a person other than you. If there is someone else close with her, it might be worth a try.

Good luck to you. This is something that is a very common problem.

SusanB-dil

Hi Christy625 - Some great advice already posted.    We deal with the same with MIL. At this point, she is washing up from the sink with a washcloth. Not optimal, of course, but it works. A dear friend-of-family that has been her hairdresser for many years comes in to do her hair (thank goodness!).

As far as 'not approachable with a lot of things', don't worry about attempting to approach with reasoning. When the reasoning is broken, attempting to do so will only bring frustration to you both. We have gotten used to "oh, yes, really?"  "wow, that's something"  and fiblets become friends. 

Your MIL does not accept her diagnosis because she has anosognosia. It is not 'denial', but rather the total concept that nothing is wrong. Again, don't argue nor confront, as it could cause her agitation, and would frustrate both of you.

CaliforniaGirl-1

This is a very common thing, I have been told. My LO also refuses to shower and absolutely believes she showers on a regular basis. If you tell her she hasn't showered in days, she simply won't believe you. If the caregivers at MC say that they are just there to make sure she doesn't fall and wait outside she just sits and doesn't get under the water.

What is comforting is that while they need to shower. They don't have to shower as often as we think in order to be healthy. If it can get done once or twice a week, it is probably fine.  I don't have a formula that works, if I did, I would use it. But you are definitely not alone in this.