Need Advice - Bathroom Issue

marier

I need advice on how to manage this issue.  At dinner time my DH sits down to eat, takes a few bites, quickly stands up and announces he needs to go to the bathroom.  He leaves the table and sometimes he goes to the bathroom and sometimes he just walks into another room and comes back to eat.  Other times he goes outside, walks around and forgets to come back to the table to finish his dinner. 

My DH wears "depneds" due to incontinence.  I have tried sitting in the kitchen, dinning room and on the sofa to eat as well as on the patio during nice weather.  Same result.  I have walked him into the bathroom prior to eating. Same result.  

He does sit at the table for breakfast and lunch.  Dinner is when this behavior starts.  

I know this is a very small issue however it is very annoying.  Any advice?  

CStrope

Evenings are always the worst in our house too, I blame it on sundowning.  Hubby will sit down to watch a show and get up literally every ten minutes to walk into the bedroom.....for nothing!  I should put the fitness tracker back on him to see how many steps he's getting in!!!

Scooterr

Hello Marier, C Strope is right evening time can be difficult time and like she said I also blame it on sundowning. With my DW I try and do certain things a little earlier before the sundowing hits, such as evening showers and even dinner. We eat dinner around 4 right after showering. I try and do both one right after the other not giving her time to re-group or not letting her mind wonder off to much. I then give her a evening snack. It works for me, maybe it will work for you.

gampiano

Hello, 

I am fortunate to be able to teach from home. On days when students are coming after 4:00, We sit down to the "big meal" of the day at lunchtime. this way, when the bewitching hours hit, my DH can nap, listen to music, etc. Sometimes he'll have a snack before bed, other times, no. This arrangement has really helped him, and me. And if he goes upstairs to bed, oh well.. I just let it go. My stress level is much lower as a result, and I know he's been well fed earlier in the day.

Hope this helps, it's worth a try.

M1

So marier, does he really need to go, or not?  Hard to tell?  Because there is an intestinal reflex that when one eats, it can trigger a bowel movement (frequently useful when potty training toddlers, feed them breakfast and voila). Is that part of what's going on?  Hard to tell from what you wrote.   May or may not be contributing, but your post made me wonder about that.

marier

Thank you all for your input. 

 I am going to move dinner time from early evening to mid afternoon.  I think this may help and avoid sundowning issues.  

Good point made my M1. However it doesn't appear the meal time triggers any bowel movement etc... 

Marta

Annoying how?  Is it because you are still expecting him to behave as a normal person?  The sooner you let go of that idea and lower your expectations, the less stressful these situations will be for you and for him.