Need help with fiblets for LO in AL demanding to travel home

AZ-daughter

My dad did the all too common route of ER to Rehab to AL. When he originally moved he was ok with it and agreed to a facility near my house so I could help more. We are only an hour away from his house - and he is very well aware of that. He would insist he could just take a cab home. Now after a few weeks of being taken care of he is feeling much better and says there is absolutely no reason for him to be there. I like the term someone else used about the 'scaffolding' our LO's get that gives a false sense of independence. He is now demanding I take him back home. I have said the house is having work done; that he still has some doctors appts and tests here he needs done; the doctor hasn't released him... But every day he calls with a new reason he needs to leave. 

The newest problem that concerns me is due to him being a snowbird and lived part of the year elsewhere. He normally would start that process now and his brain remembers that. He is telling everyone he is traveling back home soon and I know it's going to become a big problem when he is told he is not going. Also I should note, he writes EVERYTHING down. So I can't tell him it's next week because he will write it down and then expect to leave. Looking for advice. I am new to this fiblet thing and not very good at it!

harshedbuzz

AZ-D-

When we placed dad, the story created was that his doctor had ordered rehab for him so he could get better. When he asked/demanded to return home we said we wished he could come home but that it was for the doctor to decide.

HB

AZ-daughter

harshedbuzz Hi and thanks for the reply. We did try the doctor angle, but because the doctor onsite isn't 'his' doctor he won't accept it. He says I want to hear it from MY doctor. I have said yes they were involved too, but it just seems to agitate him...

M1

AZ, some seem to get past this and some don't. Not to be Debbie Downer, but i still hear this from my partner every day after ten months in MC. So be prepared.  I still haven't come up with a way to divert her and in fact have not been able to visit except in group settings. Even that is not working currently. But she doesn't have a phone, thankfully.

Charham2

Have you tried having a Care meeting involving the staff and doctors. You could then have everyone on the same page that your LO would be told that his doctor has retired and the in-house doctor has taken over his practice. Then be there when that doctor has a visit with your LO and introduce the doctor as the new one. The doctor could then write a prescription that states that your LO has to stay until the doctor determines that he has reached a certain degree of health that is unobtainable to return home. Such as he has to be able to walk a certain distance (which is what I use with my LO).

AZ-daughter

M1 So sorry you are going through this with your partner. We do so much to keep them safe but they can't understand it. I pray it won't last 10 months, but I know it's out of my control. All we can do is focus on one day at a time.

AZ-daughter

Charham2 Thank you for your response. They don't do Care Plan meetings in this AL facility. I am familiar wth those as my mom was in an NSF and we had those regularly. I love the idea of getting them on the same page though. Maybe once I land on the right fiblit I will ask them to help reaffirm it. Thanks for the idea!