Need help with care resistance

F&E

….Good morning everyone, my problem is that I cannot get my WWD to take off her underwear to change her.When I go to show her how or do it myself she refuses if I try to do it she gets very mad and makes a fist declaring that she will hit me. This  is a new behavior. I tried several times at different intervals and finally succeeded after 4 tries.does anyone have any other strategy? What will I do if/when she completely refuses? She must be changed! I don’t want to overpower her and fight with her.Is there medicine that might help her to be cooperative?please if you have any advice, I really want to hear it. How have y’all handled this situation ?thank you ps. I don’t see this as aggressive I see it as confusion and defensive

Ed1937

I know how hard it is when they refuse everything. Since this is a new behavior, has she been checked for UTI? UTIs are pretty common, and they can cause abrupt changes, as can some other infections. If you take her for a UTI test, please ask for a culture. That will tell them the best antibiotic to use if there is an infection.

gampiano

I know this might sound weird, but have you tried playing some soft soothing piano music to relax her ? this was a game changer for my DH , who was resistant to changing his underwear as well. Also, is your wife wearing disposables? if so, a nurse showed me a clever and quick way to get the pants off. You need a bandage scissor, which you can buy at any pharmacy or Walmart. they have a blunt tip and work quickly. Cut pants down the sides. Voila, they're off. 

In any case, try the soothing background music for a few days, see how she reacts, and which selections are the most calming. it really can help with a lot of things, especially aggression. All the best to you each and every day.

F&E

Thank you. I will try music to calm her down

Cherjer

Hi F&E...I was able to change my husband's "underwear" without  any problems until a month ago...and able to get him up in the morning and to bed at night. Since Jan. 23 (2023) he has changed so much. He is uncooperative and will just stiffen and clench his fists etc when trying to change him getting up in the morning or getting ready for bed at night. I now have help as it  takes two people! Luckily my DH sleeps all night so no help but do have help 7 days a week and needed for morning and evening care. It is expensive but I really have no recourse and do not want him at a facility.