reacting to delusions

Nicole333

My mom has a lot of delusions. They almost all revolve around my dad -- things she thinks he's doing, ways she thinks he's trying to trick her. I know the advice is to not argue with people who have delusions because you can never change their minds. I’ve tried to be evasive. I’ve tried not to agree or disagree with her but she keeps pushing it. She wants me to help her prove the delusions are real. I just don't feel like I can do that because the delusions are all about my dad. (He's not doing any of the things she is saying.) If I agree, I'll be saying that my dad is out to get her. I don't know if that's a good idea. I'm open to any advice

Ed1937

Nicole, welcome to the forum. But I wish you didn't need it.

I think you should make sure her doctor is aware of what is going on. In the meantime, whenever she tries to talk about it, try to change the subject. It's hard to know exactly where she is in progression, so that may or may not work. But it's worth a try. How is her short term memory? If it is really bad, changing the subject might work better than if her short term memory is just starting to fade. Hopefully others will give you more options on how to handle it best.

RobinNicole

Hi Nicole,

This is very tough.  I hope your father does not take anything personally. It is so sad when this happens.  I know when my mom was thinking my brother was stealing from her we walked a fine line of gently correcting her but not riling her up.  If possible I would show her proof everything was good and then make a joke and it would ease things and she would move on.

  I have been told to distract, or not argue, but it depends on what she is having delusions about.  while at home she had a lot of anger thinking my dad was cheating on her (he died when I was 19) and got so upset she threw out his pictures. We got her meds changed and the anger went away. She went into AL/MC last March and forgets my dad died and will ask me if I have heard from him.  For those instances I know she is sad and feels betrayed that he is not calling her or not with her.  I gently remind her he is in heaven and long distance calls from heaven are expensive.  She laughs and then her tone changes and she says she forgets he is not there and she misses him.  We then talk about good memories and then on to something else.  For her that seems to calm her and help her pivot. When she thinks she has chores to do for her father (who died when I was 5) and is grumbling and upset I say, well we are going to watch the movie, or join the activity , so that can wait.  And once again she pivots.  The delusions change and I play along as best as I can to change the thought and mood but they are nothing like last year before the meds were changed and she was very angry and acting out.  Hoping things settle down for you