Starting in-home care. How many hours a week?

mrahope

I know there are many of you who may have experience and wisdom on this topic.  I am just now researching agencies to do in-home care for my DH who was diagnosed with mild dementia last December, after a diagnosis of MCI two years ago.  He can still feed, dress, and toilet himself, but his needs and angry outbursts are wearing me down.  Fortunately, I am retired so work hours do not dictate this choice.  My question is:  how many hours do I need?  To me, even 8 would be a tremendous blessing, giving me a day off.  On the other hand, the agency I so far like will only do a 20 hr/week comittment.  I have also been told that this is better for continuity (i.e. getting the same aide(s) that we can become well-acquainted with).

If you are using in-home care, where did you start?  What (if any) was the progression to more hours or other services?

Anything else I should consider that I may not have thought about?

Thanks for sharing your knowledge.

ghphotog

I've thought about home care and have friends that will sit for me if I need them to, on occasion.
Home care, for me doesn't work as I would have to leave the house for several hours and be just as tired when I got home but better than nothing.
What I need is to be able to come and go from home as I please, take a nap in peace, read, do work around the house, take the dog for walks, etc. Having the entire house to myself during the day is what works best for me so I've been taking both my DW and now my mother to adult day care but only a few times so far.
The place is great, the staff are totally awesome. They are well supervised and have activities to keep them occupied while I can do what I need to do at home, they are state certified in dementia care and because I take both my DW and mom they gave me a discount. Costs only 15.00 per hour ea. instead of 25.00.

The place is not super exciting for them but again, they are safe and occupied for several hours and I don't have to worry about them.
My mom doesn't like it but she'll get used to it. I'd like to be able to commit to at least 1 day a week from 9-5. Twice a week would be ideal for me though.

Joydean

I have a caregiver come in for 4 hours 2x a week. This gives me time to go grocery shopping (which I don’t like to do but it’s necessary). Do little short errands. If I have a dental appointment or doctors appointment I can do it. I don’t always leave the house because sometimes my dh begs me not to leave and I fall for it. But I can get things done around the house and the caregiver can keep dh company. Right now this works for us. It’s amazing how just having another person in the house can make things feel less stressful. Best of luck to you and hope things work for you.

mrahope

Thanks so much for your perspectives.  I do have some activities that I can so far leave him alone to do for maybe an hour or two.  I am just wanting to be prepared for what I am sure will be needed in the future.  I'm also concerned about perhaps becoming ill myself.  I'm sure others have the same concerns.  Plus, I'm just getting so stressed out from being on the receiving end of so much irritability and anger.  Did getting a caregiver help?

mommyandme (m&m)

We were doing long distance care at first.  The service we used would only come with a three hour minimum.  So we started with a three hour shift in the morning and another three hours in the evening 7 days a week.  That would cover meals, meds and getting ready for the day or sleep depending.  Then we went to two four hour shifts until 24/7 was necessary.  We also installed cameras a bit before 24/7 which was very helpful. 

I hope you find the respite you need and deserve. 

Joydean

I completely agree with M&M about the cameras. I have them in dh’s room and In the living room. I can check on him at night and when I do leave the house and caregiver is there I can check in.  Just to get out of the house even for a couple of hours sure makes a difference in the way I feel. Just to get my hair trimmed makes a difference!! Give it a try and see how you feel after a short time for your self. For me it’s like getting a second wind.