Showering & Bathing in MC Facility

DJnAZ

I did a site search and found over 1,000 posts with the keywords "showering and bathing". Apparently this issue is a common with dementia patients.

My wife is in her 10th month in memory care. Prior to being placed I was aware her showering had become less and less frequent. And for the last year at home she would only wash her hair over the kitchen sink using the sprayer every 5-6 days.

Now she absolutely refuses to shower and wash her hair. The nursing staff has to sedate her and then clean her up. Unfortunately this only happens every week or ten days. I'm told that the facility is required to ask her at least one time a week if she would like to shower. But due to her global aphasia she has no clue what they are asking and she really can't respond anyway. Get her near the shower, however, and it is clear she wants no part of it.

I have tried several times to be with her and even help the staff bathe her. Somehow she musters up super-human strength and fights us at least until the sedative kicks in.

I don't like her being heavily sedated, but if that is the only option to keep her clean I suppose it has to be done. I welcome any suggestions and advice on how to deal with our LO's refusal to shower/bathe. 

M1

I'm so sorrry DJ, I wish I had a practical suggestion, but all I have to offer is sympathy.  You and I have both had a pretty tough year with placement.  My partner still does not need help with her ADL's, but I imagine the same kind of reaction should she live long enough to get to that point.

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Joe C.

DJ, My wife in MC has a strong aversion to showing & washing her hair like many other PWD. For her the trick is music. If the staff play her favorite music they can entice her into the shower but she still hates the actual showing itself.

Ed1937

DJ, I'm sorry. When my wife was home, she always thought she showered "yesterday", even if it had been a week. But I was able to get her in there, even though she resisted. When I finally placed her, one of the aides mentioned that she never gave them any trouble regarding showering or anything else they needed to do. Sometimes it works that way. I wish I had some advice to share, but I have none.

towhee

Hi DJ, yes most of us have been thru this and there are so many threads on this subject here you don't even know where to start. You might want to look at some youtube videos from Teepa Snow, Dementia Careblazers, things with titles like Secrets for How to bathe a Person with Dementia. One that I found helpful is called Bathing and Mouth Care without a Battle. This is part of a CNA training video mixed in with a classroom lecture. Video starts around minute 37. WARNING- The video is age restricted and although features are somewhat blurred it is still fairly graphic. www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTbOubtdBOo (The sound volume is very low, I listened to it on my phone)

Some of the main points:

Was hair separately from shower if possible- wash in hair salon or over sink or use dry shampoo- getting water in ears or eyes seems to be one of the problems

Getting clean once a week is fine

A bed bath is as good as a shower in most cases

You don't have to wash everything at once, you can do the upper body one day and the lower body the next and feet separately.

Make sure the person is warm and that the part of the body you are not washing is covered.

Make sure the person knows what is going to happen, give plenty of visual cues

Remember that emotions are remembered longer than facts, Try to stop if the experience becomes terrible

Try to stand off to the side of the person being bathed, it is less threatening and you are less likely to get hit

Hope something helps, physical fighting in a shower is dangerous for everyone involved.

CStrope

I recently started struggling getting DH to shower, and reached out to a friend who recently placed her mother in MC.  She said when bathing started being an issue for them, she created a "spa experience" for her mother.  Some days she'd even add a post bath mani/pedi.  Warm towels, robe, soothing music, bubble bath, all to make the bathing experience more appealing.

Ed1937

We tried that. New towels and wash cloths, new shower curtain, music, some kind of aroma therapy, fake candles, the whole works. It worked for about 2 days.

DJnAZ

Thanks to all. I spoke to my wife's nurse today and they were able to sedate her and gave her a bed bath and even used dry shampoo on her hair. Not an ideal solution, but certainly better than nothing.

vcbooth

Do you find it easer to give a bath or a shower?

Vitruvius

vcbooth, this is an old thread. Always better to start a new one if you have a question. But I will answer your question from my experience.

I thought it was much easier to give my DW a shower, although truthfully a bath seemed much harder so I never actually tried it. My DW was starting to have trouble getting in and out of the car, so getting in and out of a bathtub seemed problematic. With a shower I was able to stand just outside (yes I got wet) and was then able to access her entire body to clean her easily, she was always cooperative but sometimes confused which hampered it a bit. I was also able to quickly get a towel on her right after I turned the water off. She is now in an MCF and they always give showers to all residents.

Joydean

I prefer showering also. My dh is 6’4 and our shower is not very large but I have a shower chair in there, I just put a pair of shorts on knowing I’m going to get wet too. I can get him clean faster and easier this way , I then have him stand up so I can get his bottom clean and all rinsed off. I bought a couple of beach towels to dry him and help keep him covered when I turn the water off so he doesn’t get cold. What ever works best for each person is all we can do. Wishing you lots of luck.

Cherjer

My dh has not been in the shower for over 8 months! However, he is very clean thanks to my wonderful caregivers. Instead of fighting the shower (our bathroom was redone especially for my dh), he is cleaned in bed or getting up from the toilet...depending on who is taking care of him. DH is at home and on hospice, but his skin is perfect and although he does gets agitated when cleaning him, he does settle down. We do not sedate him...he may get loud for a second or two but can deal with this. My goal is to keep DH home...

I read some place that a shower is like have pins piercing ones skin...for those with AD. That made me realize that a shower is not important...