Dream - - or nightmare?

Beachfan

I hesitate to post this, but here goes: Early this morning, just before I awoke, I had a dream that for some unknown reason, I had brought DH home from his MCF to care for him.  It was sheer chaos.  Although DH was always “easy”, I was re-living the constant stress of caring for him 24/7.  I was following him around, preempting any situations that would result in disaster, ignoring two granddaughters who were visiting; I was frantic and trying to recall why I had brought him home.  At the end of the dream, I decided to return him to his MCF, only to find out that his room was taken, staff were unhappy that I had removed him, and I had to start the process all over again from square one. I am still rattled several hours later.  

If nothing else, the “dream” validated my initial decision to place DH.  I had almost forgotten how the constant upheaval that caring for him had affected my life and that of my family.  I always wished  and hoped that I would keep him at home forever.  But I am thankful that I have the means to keep him safe and cared for while I am able to carry on.  Occasionally, I dream about the past, happier times before Alzheimer’s, but this was unsettling; no more mini eclairs before bedtime.  

M1

I have similar dreams Beachfan.  Yes, some are very unsettling.  Maybe it wasn't the mini eclairs though.....!

Ed1937

I'm sorry you had a dream like that. It's unfortunate that we can't pick the types of dreams we have. The bad ones can leave you upset for some time. I'm still dreaming of my wife most every night, but I haven't had any that were very upsetting.

JoseyWales

Beachfan, that would be an unsettling dream for sure. Our brains tell us so much in dreams, and pull up those memories and feelings we seem to lose during the day. 

I too have dreams that relive what it was like just before I placed DH. As time goes on, I tend to forget how bad it was when he was home. That dream is a memory of what happened, and always makes me remember why I placed him. But the feeling sticks with me the rest of the day.

I recently had a dream that DH was lying next to me in bed, and he was like he was years ago. When I woke, I knew he wasn't really there, but part of me believed he was. I just laid there, enjoying having him next to me for a long time, until I actually reached over and realized he wasn't. 

Dio

The brain is such a mysterious organ in its inner workings, especially the subconscious. Not that I'm an expert by any stretch, but perhaps, there's some latent guilt about placing your DH that is manifesting through the dream to help resolve? The logical side of the brain says it was the right thing to do. But how do we know what our subconscious is saying? Troubling is that it made you feel so rattled/unsettled. I don't want to frivolously recommend therapy. Just hope that this is a onetime occurrence and that the underlying issue is resolved. Wishing you peace and calm. Hugs...

After years of caregiving, I'm pretty sure each of our brains is taxed to the max.

Jgirl57

Oh my ! I am glad you posted about your nightmare! Writing about it may be

therapeutic . I know I don’t sleep well anymore and I have started touring places 

for eventual placement. I hope you rest well tonight.

Joe C.

Beachfan, I can understand how stressful this dream. I have never dreamed about bring DW home but I do think from time to time that I could handle it again. Fortunately someone or something brings me back to reality before I give this idea to much credence.

toolbeltexpert

Beachfront thanks for sharing that. Your a great caregiver no doubt about that. This is all so hard to do. That would be a nightmare for sure. I haven't  dreamed but I relive my thinking what if she had to come home argh. If I had your dream I wouldn't touch another mini eclair ether.

Sending you a big hug.

Stewart

Joydean

Beachfront dreams can definitely be upsetting at times and feel so very real. But thank God it was only a dream and now you can and do get to enjoy your beautiful granddaughters! You did everything to help your dh! Take a nap and relax! 

mrl

Hi,

I got so excited to see your name, its been awhile. I hate when I have those dreams.....ughh awful. Take it easy today, too much stress. However, I am impressed you are not only Beachfan,but Beachfront too-you go girl. I needed this smile so bad.

God Bless,

Michele

June45

Indeed, the dream was a validation you did the right thing when you placed your husband.

Nowhere

I think the dream, as upsetting as it was, certainly was some kind of blessing as it worked to validate your placement decision. This, in itself, might help your unconscious put an end to those types of nightmares! I sure wish that sweet dreams could be the norm; I’d even settle for 50/50! I’d like to dream of those mini eclairs. Yum!

Arrowhead

Perhaps you needed to reassure yourself that you did the right thing in placing him.

Quilting brings calm

I think you may have been on this or other forums reading posts of  people who were second guessing the need for placement,  or they had   guilt over it … too close to bedtime. Your brain didn’t shut off while  you slept.