Checking in - early March 2023

Anna2022

It's been awhile since I checked in about my DH - things had been going pretty smoothly. I guess I got used to the questions and short-term memory loss.  Lately, there's been a change: The questions keep coming, and now he is super confused about the passage of time, arguing that things happened two months ago, when, in fact, the event happened last week. I'm getting pretty good at not arguing, but sometimes it's hard.

I decided to get some delayed but important maintenance plumbing work done on the house, rather than wait for a crisis. I know that if there was a crisis, things would be even harder to manage with DH. As it is, he has forgotten that we've discussed the project, that I've kept him informed each day as to what is happening, yet he keeps asking what are the plumbers doing and what is the project. Frankly, its maddening at times. It all culminated one morning when the car would not start, the plumbing crew arrived and needed access to the driveway, and DH wanted to take charge but couldn't figure out how to handle anything. It broke my heart to see him so frustrated and so incapable of dealing with things. I did not handle things well, trying to take over and manage DH out of the way. Of course DH resisted. It was not pretty between us. Eventually, AAA got here, the driveway cleared, the crew got to work and DH settled.

Today, DH is on the phone arguing with the watch repair place about his watch that he took in for repair last week but he is convinced he took it for repair months ago. I sure hope the repair employee is not offended by DH complaints. Do I step in, do I let DH harass the repair store? Sometimes I don't now what battle to take on. His agitation around these things seems to be increasing and he is super frustrated with me.

Thanks for letting me vent. It means everything to me to have a place to go where I don't have to explain too much how lost, sad and upset I feel inside sometimes.

Dio

Anna, so sorry you're going through this. It may help for you to call the watch repair shop to clue them in on your DH's condition. My DH has started to become belligerent in restaurants and other public places. I'm considering printing a dementia notification card to slip into people's hands who may be offended by his behavior.

Mint

Anna I deal with different issues but similar.  What I do is get off to myself and call the business and explain.  Tell them to feel free to block his number or to not answer that number when it calls. Give them my phone number and tell them to call me when it’s ready or if we have a question I called them. This works for me. Pretty good. Hope maybe it’ll help you.

mrahope

Yes, I've had this issue, too.  My DH went off on a building inspector so badly that the inspection of our new furnace couldn't happen.  I ended up texting an apology and rescheduling the visit.   The inspector was very kind.  He also was extremely rude to a social worker with whom we were meeting by Zoom.  I texted her, then let him go to another room, and we had the meeting alone.  I gotta say I hate cleaning up these interpersonal messes much more than cleaning up physical messes...at least so far.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.