Vascular Stroke and Dementia

Caro_Lynne

Hi all. I joined the forum a few weeks ago and reading everyone's posts has been very insightful and acknowledge the sacrifices we are all making for our LO. Here's my story:

I am the sole caregiver for my previous partner, 74. We have lived together for many years and are best friends. He has no children, parents deceased, brother with ALZ, which he does not see, and speaks with occasionally. I'm his POA and HCS; we did this long before his stroke,

March 2022 he had a vascular stroke and brain surgery of right side of brain. Lucky to be alive. Was in hospital 10 days, moved to stroke rehab facility for about one month, then to MC until I brought him home in August. Since then it has become obvious that he is suffering from some sort of dementia. Thankfully he did not suffer any physical paralysis; it affected him cognitively.

It is very challenging being his full time caregiver, as most of you I'm sure can relate to. Last couple of weeks have presented new challenges; we were out running errands and he didn't want to be in car with me so as we were pulling out of parking space he got out of car and started wondering parking lot, followed him to staples, police called by store, by time they got there he was ready to go home with me. Few days after that, after dinner and giving him meds, I went to my room (tired!) to lay down. I have cameras throughout the house. Couldn't see him, looked for him and he was gone (taking his dog). Drove around neighborhood and couldn't find him. Live in small community, so went to our police station. As I'm speaking to officer, call comes in from patrol officer that he had knocked on a neighbor's door down the street. Police brought him home. I've left out details just want to give you an idea. Of course, he does not remember any of these or other incidents and I do not question or remind him.

Taking him to neuro psychologist for testing, earliest appt. for next month; hoping they can give me a diagnosis. Can you share with me how your LO was diagnosed? His neurologist is ordering MRI, which my LO does not want to have. His primary doctor is amazing and helps me adjust his meds if necessary.

Apologies for the long post and TIA for taking time to read and reply.

Ed1937

Carol, welcome to the forum. I'm sure you know by now that it's a good one, but I'm sorry you need it.

He really needs to have all testing done, including MRI, and here's why. https://www.agingcare.com/articles/reversible-conditions-that-can-be-mistaken-for-dementia-476370.htm Yes, there are a lot of tests to be run.

 

Caro_Lynne

Thanks Ed, very informative article. His life changed in a heartbeat! He was a great poker player, now he thinks the deck of cards are credit cards. Uses phone to try to turn on TV and so many other little things. Testing scheduled, so will wait and see the results.

Iris L.

Welcome!  Alz.org has a section on home safety and wandering.  You can put alarms on your doors.  Register him with your local police department.   There are many threads on wandering.  You seem to already know about anosognosia.

Iris L.

Caro_Lynne

Hi Iris and thank you! Glad I found this place and that there are many of you that are willing to listen and share your experiences! It's comforting to know I am not alone, even though it's virtual. I hope to be able to contribute any useful info I may acquire. I enrolled to attend an in-person support group, however, that's not happening now.

Yes, I registered him with our local PD. I'll look for the wandering forum, did not know there was one dedicated to that. I am in the process of researching door alarms like SimpliSafe; do you have any other suggestions?

Caro_Lynne

Iris, I just read your bio! Thanks for what you do and even though I'm new, I'm here for you

Iris L.

CaroLynne, there is not one "wandering" forum.  You will have to do a search for wandering as the subject.  Or just scan the topic headings, because the subject of wandering comes up very often, also check for "door alarms" or door locks.

I have not read my own profile in a long time.  I cannot think of what to write now.

Iris

Caro_Lynne

Ok, got it. Your profile motivated me to update/write my profile lol

[email protected]

How well I understand. My husband did not remember we were married until I brought out photos. If I tell him, sometimes he remembers. How I wish they could find a cure for this horrible disease! We all need lots of prayer!

M1

welcome to the forum Carol, I am in a similar situation, my partner of 30 years is now in memory care.  I hold all of her POA's etc., we are married in all but name.

I would caution you not to hold out hope that diagnostic procedures are going to be of much help.   Yes, he clearly has dementia somehow related to his previous stroke. So?  that's not going to solve your caregiving issues.  

I think that thinking on a more practical level may help you more.  If he's wandering (which he obviously is), are you going to be able to keep him safe at home?   How much help can you afford at home?  Does he need 24/7 supervision to prevent wandering?  Do you need to think about placement, and if so, what can you/he afford?  Those are going to be the issues that are much more pressing than any diagnosis I think.  I'm curious as to what prompted you to bring him home from MC after placemetn there last summer?  

Caro_Lynne

To try to answer your question regarding why I brought him home from MC; for me it was a temporary solution until I got the house ready for him to come home after his stroke. I had to update his bathroom and perform other minor updates to the house. I did not think he was ready to be a full time resident at the MC facility. I also did not know the extent of his cognitive deficiency and was willing to bring him home to familiar surroundings and his beloved fur baby. It has been difficult and it has taken major adjustments on my part, since he has no clue, for the most part, what is going on; to make it work.

Yes, I am overwhelmed at times, but at the same time, time is teaching me how to be patient. I'm aware this is a dynamic situation and things may and will change. As far as hiring an outside caregiver, I interviewed one that was recommended and was hopeful it would work, until they met his fur baby! I have a 4 pound rescue chi that is the sweetest thing and never barks and goes everywhere with me. Prior to his stroke, I got him a rescue chi mix that growls and bites everyone! So for now, that is not an option.

Just doing the best I can and the best for him.