Going Home(5)




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Hello Clark. Welcome too our little community. Sorry you have a need for it, but it's a good one. You will get a lot of understanding and support here, and questions answered.
As far as the source of dementia, you will not get it unless they run several tests , and find something that is causing the symptoms. There are many conditions that can mimic symptoms of dementia, and there are some that are treatable. Here is a link concerning that. https://www.agingcare.com/articles/reversible-conditions-that-can-be-mistaken-for-dementia-476370.htm
You will probably not get a lot of information from the medical field, other than a diagnosis. Posting questions here will get you a lot more info than you will get from a doctor. You should read prior posts as much as possible to get a good understanding about dementia. Here is another good link for you. https://www.alzconnected.org/uploadedFiles/understanding-the-dementia-experience.pdf
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I’m so sorry ClarkEB. You are very kind to go along with her concerns and take her driving when you can. I doubt that she’s bored, just confused and lonely for her early life in a secure place. I’m sorry I don’t have any other suggestions, except maybe distracting her with another activity.0
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The day you describe with your LO is nearly identical to what I went through with my DW for a while. Putting things in the car, all kinds of household odds and ends. Needing to take them "somewhere" that she couldn't really identify. The multiple daily aimless drives that were the only way to keep her a bit more calm. We went through it. Sadly my DW is now Stage 7 in an MCF so those days are past, but I know your pain.
My DW also did not always recognize either me or our home, but she wasn't as persistent about it as your LO sounds. And like you it seems, my DW didn't recognize me as her husband but still treated me as someone she was more or less comfortable with.
I don't think these trips are boredom. I think my DW no longer could understand the rhythm of her day, she knew she should be doing something but could no longer grasp what it might be. She just felt compelled to do something, and this is what her dementia came up with.
The only escape from this was to get her into a daycare program. She didn't always like it, especially at first, but the program was terrific and they knew how to keep her distracted and engaged in activities far more than I could do at home. If there is anything like this around you I urge you to give it a try. It can be a struggle for a few weeks, but she eventually came to expect it as part of her routine. Her biggest issue about going was actually not about the program, but she didn't like leaving me, I was her anchor.
Unfortunately on days she wasn't in her daycare, she became even a bit more obsessed with the drives, I think because she now had expected the daycare as part of her routine, and it was missing. Weekends mean nothing to a PWD. But the daycare was still more than worth it, believe me.
That's all I can offer, either than to say that this too shall pass. I almost view those days with a tinge of longing, a time when DW was still present enough to go on drives, errands and to a lunch spot with me.
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Clark, Welcome but sorry you needed to seek out our community. My wife also went through the “I have to go home” stage earlier in the precession. I also found it easier to take here for short rides since reasoning with her was fruitless. The one thing I did to cut down on the number of rides was just any delaying tactic; we’ll go after diner, it’s going to rain soon so let’s wait till it’s over, we’ll go tomorrow; any excuse I could think up to delay taking another ride. Good luck.0
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ClarkEb wrote:LO seems to have fear of being to close to the water. LO is a certified Water Safety Instructor. Hobby and Craft interests are all gone.Welcome Clark. PWDs need to be kept busy with activities on their level, which will change over time.Iris L.0
Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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