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Gwhit66

My 87 yr old mom is showing early signs of Alzheimer. I'm very stressed out and joined today hoping to find others going through similar situations. She has been living with my family since my dad passed away 8 years ago.

It started out with her just forgetting little things but it's been getting worse every day. This past week she got sick and I took her to the hospital. On the way to a room she was yelling for someone to help her. They admitted her for pneumonia. The next day when I got there she asked me if she had been there a week... not realizing it was only a day. I'm with her 24/7 and I'm exhausted. I'm not sure what to expect anymore. 

The doctor had put her on medication to help with her memory but seems to be getting worse.

I'm thankful I have my husband to lean on and family but sometimes I just feel overwhelmed and even angry though I don't know why.

zauberflote

Welcome Gwhit! Glad you found us but so sorry you have to be here. You are a wonderful daughter to have taken your mother in after your dad died. No wonder you are overwhelmed and angry-- living with one's mother is not something everyone can do. Much less living with one's MIL! Your husband gets a big cheer too! Dementia is overwhelming for everyone involved. 

I hope your mom can be discharged soon! Hospitals get worse for us the older we get. There is this thing called hospital delirium to which apparently anyone over 60 is more prone. This could easily be the cause of mom's confusion right now. She's been living with you, adapted to your household schedule, and suddenly she's thrown into an unfamiliar location and bossed the heck out of. Stay there, wear this, no you can't eat yet but you have to order your meal first from the kitchen anyway (have you tried that recently?...) It's all enough to drive a person round the bend, and often does. My mom and MIL both had it at about that age. We helped them both by having, in MIL's case, continuous family presence in the room, and in Mom's, I stayed in her room as much as I could, and hired someone to sit when I couldn't. I'd slept there one night and ended up pulling a 36-hr shift after my brother had done the same-- it was too much for us. Is a hired companion something that could work? I don't know how long pneumonia hospitalizations tend to last. 

I'll offer you a cautionary tale involving my mom and her hospital-stay-from-heJJ.... she was sent in for what turned out to be simple dehydration and mild heat exhaustion. She walkered her way around campus in the bright summer sun for half and hour or so, then sat out in the sun resting until her companions (just a bunch of the guys who always sat out) noticed she was not only asleep but non-responsive. So, hospital keeps the old lady who's actually now hydrated and feeling chipper, overnight for observation and because there were "a few little things in her bloodwork they wanted to know about". I found all this out later; my sister was first contact. By the next day Mom was totally confused and disoriented. By the next day she couldn't even walk. The situation deteriorated further and took 2 months to get her back to AL. I learned from this A) always be there and don't let them do bloodwork because then they have an obligation to try and fix her. She had her DNR, we sibs had all her health and financial POAs, and she wasn't ever going to have fun in a hospital.  

Others will be along with more practical ideas!

Gwhit66

Thank you. Mom is out of the hospital and home now. We go back to see the neurologist next month. I'm hoping since it's early maybe they can do something to help her or even that he might have been wrong on what he was initially thinking.

LaurenB

Good morning and welcome!