An insight

GothicGremlin

These last several weeks have been a roller coaster - for all involved.

It's hard to explain how quickly Peggy has declined over the last month, while still remaining relatively healthy.  It's really about her delusions and our ability to try to decode them to try to make her more comfortable.

A few new behaviors - she's shadowing me now, even though she's in memory care. It's really uncomfortable. Of course I never let her see my discomfort. She's also started shuffling when she walks now.     She's also seeing her cat everywhere. And not just one copy of her cat, but many, many copies. "So many Chloes", says Peggy.

And the insight - Peggy's memory care facility has a little open office (it's tiny - big enough for a desk and a chair), and that's where residents can take calls, but it's also a general purpose work room. Over the last month Peggy has gotten really upset when she talks to all of us from that room. She told me last week that "the ladies" (I swear, there's a short horror story to be written about "the ladies") are taking stuff out of her room.  I know she can't see her room from the little office.

I asked Peggy a few benign questions about the ladies and her stuff. Eventually I realized that when Peggy is in the little office, she thinks it's her room. And the "stuff" that the ladies take are office supplies that the caregivers use for their jobs.

So, I had a talk with the director and we're going to resurrect Peggy's iPhone. It's already stripped down, and I'l put in a few numbers that will be her only options to call. We'll leave the phone with the activities director, then when people call, Peggy can use that phone, and not have to use the office phone. Hey, anything to avoid a meltdown, right?

Understanding the Dementia Experience in action though - looking at the world through their eyes and coming up with a solution that respects them.

Ed1937

GG, I'm sorry she is slipping. But you are handling everything exactly as you should. Keep that in mind. You're doing a great job! She's lucky to have you.

GwendolynD

GG, I am sorry Peggy is slipping.  Reading your insight and how you are making changes to address the issue is very helpful for me, I'm new to this and my Mom is also slipping at a pace that is much faster than I expected.   Take care.

GothicGremlin

Thank you Ed and Gwendolyn. It has been a rough, rough month. Actually, it hasn't really let up since Christmas.

I'm doing my best, but man.

Today she looked so lost, but by the time I left I had gotten her to smile. I dropped off a couple of CDs (80s music) for her ancient boombox. I told her what was on it, and she could sing bits of each of the songs, so all of that music is still there in her head.

Staff there told me that music in the morning makes getting dressed a lot easier, so Duran Duran it is!

BassetHoundAnn

I'm sorry, GG. This disease is a killer, isn't it? Count me among those who love to read the messages you post because they provide many great insights. Thank you for posting. I'll chime in too to say you're doing a great job with Peggy. 

For about the first year after I moved my mom to MC she thought her sister Margaret was hiding with her boyfriend in the nursing office. She kept going in there searching for Margaret. 

It's absolutely heartbreaking isn't it? Peggy is lucky to have you.