Paranoia(12)

Zuzu82

My 90 year old mother was recently moved to an assisted living facility after the death of my father in October 2022.  At that time she was diagnosed with mild to moderate Alzheimer's/dementia although we are awaiting the final diagnosis of a recent CAT scan. After a couple weeks of anger, Mom seemed to adapt quite well to her environment and became a social butterfly.  In recent weeks, Mom was diagnosed with an UTI and has been treated. She still has the remnants of a minor infection and continues antibiotics.  Since this time it seems Mom is in an acceleration period.  She is convinced that her father owns the facility. Her father was not the best of dads.  In her words, he was a drunk and a womanizer.  Because of this, she is suspicious of several women in the facility of having an affair with her dad and believes these women don't like her.  Conversely, others including staff give her special treatment because of her connection to the owner.  She has asked me several times to investigate because something is not right.  In addition, she seems to have forgotten she was married and when seeing pictures of her husband (my dad) identifies him as her dad.  She also believes that the clothing in her room belong to dad's girlfriend (I don't know if she's talking about her dad or her husband). While I know this is part of the disease, it is unsettling to hear all the bad things about her father cast upon my dad.  So two questions:  Will this current reality which has gone on for two weeks eventually pass and be replaced with a different reality? And, how to do I respond when she says these things?  I try to change the subject and I've also said I would investigate.  However, she remembers me saying that and asks me what I what I have found out.  How honest should I be or how far should my fiblets go?

towhee

Hi, Zuzu, welcome to the forum.

It is common for infections to seem to shove a person further down the dementia path. Sometimes they return to where they were (baseline), sometimes not. And, in a lovely catch 22, sometimes the antibiotics for the infection can also cause confusion and other mental changes. See how she is about a week after the last of the antibiotics, and it is a good idea to inform the prescribing physician of the problems. Also, make sure she is getting adequate liquid (assisted living may not usually monitor this), that she is not constipated (also something AL might not usually monitor), and if she has had any other recent medication changes. Unfortunately it really does not take much at that age to cause a decline.

As for how to react, this is hard. It usually does not do any good to tell the truth, but sometimes fiblets do not work. Try to validate her feelings, let her feel heard, but be vague otherwise, something like "this must be so upsetting for you, I am so sorry you are feeling like this". Look for youtube videos by Teepa Snow (keywords- going home or delusions and hallucinations) and also Dementia Careblazers videos.