New to this site and find your experiences helpful

Denise1847

As I scroll through each person's experiences, I am in awe of the heroism and strength each of you are exhibiting.   You are all an inspiration to me.   My husband was diagnosed in 2018 but he was exhibiting signs at least 2 years before that.  He can still get around, communicate and is no way as challenging as many of your spouses.  That being said, I am terrified of how this will progress and my ability to handle it.   I really struggle with the isolation from being social with others and having interesting conversations.  I realize that my problems are minute compared to what I am reading.

I find myself getting depressed for him and myself and it feels like there is no hope for the future, only very bad times.  I suffer from chronic back pain so by the end of the day, I have had it.   I take walks everyday, read and study the Bible.   I have already been to counseling and it was somewhat helpful.  

I am wondering how you deal with the boredom of every day being the same thing without anything to look forward to.  I feel like I am in the movie "Groundhog Day."

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KathyF1

Denise,  it sounds like our husbands are in about the same place as far as progression. I too study the Bible, read and walk. I started on line painting classes too. A new hobby has given me something to works toward. Try to be as social as you can, call old friends, invite people over if that’s possible. Overall I try to make myself stay really busy. I know, life is so different-and so difficult- being a caregiver. I think God has good things in store for us though. Reading the Psalms helps me so much. He is there and He has a plan! You’re in my prayers-

Battlebuddy

   It can be very trying but with the Good Lords help we will make it through . I look over the years , and honestly don’t know how I made it through to this point. But I know God helped me every step of the way , as he will be with you. 

   We had a person on this site who was always talking about gratitude. She always looked for the positive thing to be grateful for every day. It does really make a difference. I also read somewhere to try and do one positive thing every day for yourself . It also really helps to focus on what your loved one can still do , not on what they can’t. Right now my husband is bed bound and can’t do much but he can still smile his beautiful smile at me in the mornings. I live for those smiles

    I also am a student of the Bible and right now the thing that works for me is an on line woman’s Bible study. It started with Covid but is so great because I get socialization and fellowship but can also be there for DH. 

This site will help you a lot. Keep checking in and take it one day at a time. You can make it through!

Iris L.

Denise1847 wrote:

   

I am wondering how you deal with the boredom of every day being the same thing without anything to look forward to.  I feel like I am in the movie "Groundhog Day."

Welcome Denise.  I am responding as a person with cognitive impairment and also a member for several years.  IMO, PWDs do better living in a bubble, and living in Groundhog Day.  Keeping things around them the same is necessary because their minds cannot keep up with changes.  This is why PWDs may do better in memory care, because everything is the same and routine.

Unfortunately, what is good for the PWD will most likely be boring to the caregiver.  Your challenge will be to accomplish two opposites--making your own life interesting within the constraints of keeping the PWD's life the same.  You will get advice to enter your LO's world.  Engage the senses.  Think about enjoying nature and music and art together as much as possible.  There is a book, "I Feel Better When I Paint".

                                                                     

The members will have other ideas.  You will have to take steps to carve out meaningful activities for yourself.  Don't let dementia take you down too!

Iris

Ed1937

Denise, welcome to the forum, but sorry you need it. I'd suggest maybe trying music that you can both enjoy. Music is one of the last things they lose, so it could be a win/win.

Whatever you do, keep posting. Don't compare his losses with everyone else's. Every loss hurts, and none are minor. It's all hard.

toolbeltexpert

Denise you are in good company, first welcome and sorry for the reason you had to find us. We pray for each other and share our burdens comfort with the comfort we received. My dw is now in mc, but when she was home, I tried everyday to get her out,which was also for me. Ling slow drives with her favorite music on. Trips to state parks, local parks, eat out if you can, there is still a lot to do. Each one of us has a different experience and your will be as well,you know what will work best for your dh. Learn to use those old stories as a diversion and yes you will tell them hundreds of times but it's the joy it brings our lo's back to a good place. 

Keep coming back nothing is to sensitive here.

Stewart

Denise1847

Thank you for your kind words.

Denise1847

Thank you Cecil. It helps to know I am not alone.

Denise1847

Thank you Kathy. I know that I have grown spiritually from this experience.

There is nothing like feeling as if you are in a dark pit of despair to make you realize your brokenness and then to reach out for God’s help.  

May God bless you and raise you up through this difficult time.

Denise1847

Yes. Gratitude is so vital to me. This is especially true when I start to mourn the life I had.

God bless you and help you through this journey.

Denise1847

Thank you Iris.   I so appreciate your experience.  It is important to see the world from their vantage point.

Denise1847

Thank you Ed.  I appreciate that music suggestion.   Stay well and God bless.

RCT

Welcome Denise..my husband got diagnosed in 2018 also..it has been a very slow progression and I mean very slow! I can relate to Groundhog Day….He stopped driving in 2019 and that year I took over everything. I stay social by being involved with Tai Chi. I have my husband attend a memory class once a week and have a caregiver take him out once a week. He is easy to care for at this point but I find it challenging none the less. I grieve for all the losses,  even the small ones….from not traveling to him not being able to wash clothes on his own. I am learning to balance my sadness with living. An anticipatory grief counselor has been most helpful. I practice gratitude and acceptance daily! Sending prayers.

Another Day

Welcome Denise, this is the place where you find out that you're not alone, you're not losing your mind and if God is your co-pilot, switch seats. I'm new here also, and it sounds like our husband's are in similar stages. My DH is still undiagnosed, but shows many of the signs discussed here. People on this site are really helpful and any question is OK. So far, any observation is OK too. Through participating on this site, I've found a certain calmness about the situation. Information is golden, the more you learn about what's going on and what to expect the more calm you will be. Keep God close by your side, I talk to Him all day long....either please Lord guide me with this OR Thank you Lord. He does make a difference. Also, and this is important, make sure to pray with your DH on a regular basis.