Better to deplete savings or move to a nursing home?

arpill

Hello, my mother needs memory care. I have found a facility near me that is excellent but stressful expensive; however, it is close and I think they will do a great job with my 88 year old mother. The alternative is a medicaid nursing home, which I have called to go visit and no one has returned my call. I have been working and paying assisted living for years and years now, but memory care is a whole other situation. My gut is to go with $$ place with the better care and hope for the best, but am I thinking correctly? I am so conflicted. Thank you.

eaglemom

You heart is certainly in the right place. However, it is always best to speak with the professionals in this situation. You need to speak with an elder care attorney and ask your questions. Then you will have the correct guidance.

eagle

harshedbuzz

arpill-

I am sorry you are facing this situation. 

I would encourage you to consult a CELA in your state to discuss this situation.

Is she single or widowed? Are the savings to which you refer hers or yours?

Under most circumstances, her assets are meant to be used for her care. If she has a spouse, they would be allowed a specific amount of assets to keep for themselves once your mom qualified for Medicaid after spending everything else down. At the time of the surviving spouse's death, their estate would pay back the cost of her care before anyone inherited what was left. 

There is a loophole for adult children who have been fulltime caregivers in the home for a widowed/single parent for 2 years that they otherwise would have been in a Medicaid-funded bed. A CELA can expand on this if it applies.

If it is your savings, it would not be prudent to spend it on mom's care. You need to take care of your future self.

It's really hard to say what setting would be appropriate at this point. In some states, Medicaid will fund MC or a SNF. My state doesn't; it will only fund a SNF and only for those who require nursing rather than custodial care. 

My mom paid out-of-pocket for dad's care with a plan for him to transition to a SNF when she was nearly out of money. If this is a possibility, you want to place her in a MCF that will transition to a Medicaid bed when she runs out of money. FWIW, many MCF operate under the expectation that families will self-pay for 2-3 years before they transition to Medicaid. Most places that take Medicaid will have a very limited number of beds so coming in on Medicaid from another place may involve a waiting list as current residents get dibs. 

If money were no object, for most folks a MCF with dementia strained staff and dementia informed routines and activities is best. Some families choose care and board homes for a "homey" atmosphere. Many states have state-run veterans homes for vets and their spouses that tend to be more reasonable than corporate places. 

Be aware that many MCFs will allow a person to age-in-place, but will expect family to provide additional private aides or hospice as care needs increase.

HB