Getting someone to go to a doctor for diagnosis

JeanyB

I have a close friend who lives out of state who developed memory issues and hallucinations in the past five months.  I contacted her husband and brother to seek assistance in getting medical attention for her.  They scheduled an appointment with a neurologist for today but she wouldn't go.  The people who are close to her know she has a problem, but she doesn't know she has a problem.  How can you get someone to go for an evaluation and diagnosis if she won't go to a doctor?  I'm concerned for her being in public if she has memory issues.  She drives to church and local shopping.  She also has no will and no children.  Any suggestions would be welcome.

Iris L.

JeanyB wrote:

 but she doesn't know she has a problem.  

Welcome.  This is the description of anosognosia, a characteristic of dementia.  The PWD truly believes she is fine.  If the family try to confront her with reality, she will resist and become upset.  They will have to use work-arounds to get things done.  The members will teach about the work-arounds.  

It would help if they could come to this board and read a lot of threads and also the online reading material.

Iris L.

terei

Caregivers have to be willing to say whatever will work.  I know that some have had success with telling the LO they MUST see a doctor at least once a year or their Medicare/insurance will be cancelled.    ‘I understand you don’t NEED to see a doctor, but Medicare is REQUIRING the visit.’.   Say what you have to to get the results you want.   

Cajoling + persuasion probably wont work.  Again, read the board, there are many others who have spent months (or years) trying to convince their LOs to do what is rational….til they finally do what works, which is basically taking the bull by the horns + using whatever ‘fiblets’ or excuses that get the job done.

    

serenac

Hi JeanyB! I've been in the same boat - getting that first doctor's visit can be difficult. I'd recommend a great resource here: https://remo.health/learn/articles/13/starting-the-diagnostic-process—a-path-to-clarity 

This resource has a few helpful strategies for how to get your loved one to the doctor. What worked well for us was me reaching out to my loved one's doctor ahead of a prescheduled visit. You can message the doctor and raise your concerns ahead of a previously planned visit to ensure memory symptoms are screened.

lawkat

Last week my mom finally had her appointment with the neurologist.  What my dad and I had to do was tell her we are going into town. Didn't say why just that we were going.  She is mid to late stage, so she didn't question as to why.  Even when we got to the hospital and saw the doctor, she didn't question it.  She actually did ask how long she has been like this and I told her a few month.  That was the first time she sort of knew that she has Alzheimer's, but a minute later she forgot. 

She probably shouldn't be driving at this point and someone will have to take her, but under the auspice of something else.  Her husband and brother should taking her places and helping her.  My dad is the primary caregiving since I live several hours away and my brother is not good with these kinds of situation.  He has taken control of the household, but at 78, it has gotten too much for him and we looking into a home. 

There is never an easy answer to these questions and concerns.  Sorry you are dealing with this.