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Power of attorney?

  • My grandma has late stage Alzheimer’s . Her husband is primary caregiver . How do we go about obtaining a power of attorney ? 

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  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,399
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    jasmine-

    Hello and welcome.

    I am sorry for your need to be here but happy you found this place.

    Looking at your bio, I am unsure whether "we" is your grandfather with you as successor agent or if you mean to become her agent instead of him. This is complicated by her being "late stage" as a POA requires the individual to be competent enough to understand what they are signing. If she isn't competent to sign, you'd have to obtain guardianship through the courts which is more complicated, time consuming and costly especially if you are looking to take control away from a long-term spouse. 

    I would start with a CELA to discuss your options. You can find one at nelf.com

    HB


  • jasmine.2525
    jasmine.2525 Member Posts: 2
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    Hi HB 

    Oh man. The POA is for her husband.   I will look into CELA. Thank you for responding 

    - Jasmine 

  • towhee
    towhee Member Posts: 472
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    Jasmine, for the CELA, it might be nelf.org, not .com. If one is not available in your area, try naela.org. What you want is a lawyer that does a significant amount of practice in elder law.
  • Wellmnt
    Wellmnt Member Posts: 3
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    Can you explain what a CELA is?  My mother has dementia and is getting progressively worse.  My father, aunt and I are her primary care givers.  Both my father and aunt are over the age of 90 and sometimes not competent to make legal decisions since my aunt does not understand legal issues to well (she is Japanese and does not speak English very well and my father is becoming incompetent and refusing to make rational legal decisions for her.  Can anyone provide any advice?

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,399
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    towhee wrote:
    Jasmine, for the CELA, it might be nelf.org, not .com. If one is not available in your area, try naela.org. What you want is a lawyer that does a significant amount of practice in elder law.


    Thanks for correcting my brainfart.

    NELF-dot-org it is.

    National Elder Law Foundation (nelf.org)
  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,399
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    Wellmnt-

    A CELA is a certified elder law attorney-- they specialize in this sort of law and have additional training. 

    They can be better than a more generally trained attorney in situations that include dementia especially if there may be a need for Medicaid down the line as that varies state-to-state.

    The bar for competency is not especially high for a PWD to sign the document, but I do think given your dad's unreliable judgement and bother their ages, you should obtain primary POA for both mom and dad. If mom's not competent to sign, someone may need to obtain guardianship.

    Has dad been screened for dementia? It's not uncommon, especially at his age, for both partners to have dementia. Sometimes one goes unrecognized because they present differently than the first or because they aren't progressed to the same degree.

    HB


  • welden
    welden Member Posts: 3
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    Hello all. I’m new here, so please forgive my ignorance.
    My wife has early-mid stage AZ and Anosognosia. I know I need a durable power of attorney, but is there any way to do this without confronting her with her condition? She gets upset if it’s mentioned. I don’t want to be dishonest with her, but I would like a nonconfrontional process.
    I have thought about each of us getting POA for the other, but I don’t know if that’s possible or desirable.
    Any ideas or advice is welcome.
  • ronda b
    ronda b Member Posts: 87
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    I think you can change yours anytime. She doesn't have to know.

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,785
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    Hi Weldon and welcome. This is an old thread; you may get more responses if you start a new discussion.

    that said, your first step is to talk to a certified elder law attorney by yourself (look at nelf.org). good ones know how to finesse this; you can approach her in the spirit of getting all your paperwork in order for both of you, but in fact she should not serve as your executor or POA (she won't be competent to do so). Your documents can name someone else, and she doesn't have to know that.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more