Negativity towards CareGiver

DahliaFlower

My Mom has 24/7 care with a fabulous, kind, and patient in-home care giver.  Whenever she is out of the house with someone else, all my Mom does is talk negatively about the caregiver - she doesn't like this about her or that about her, it can be anything!  Distracting her, talking about other things, ignoring, etc. isn't working..   my Mom always goes back to talking about the caregiver.   (She always has been kind of a negative person.)   What do we do???

SDianeL

Not much I'm afraid.  I am my husband's caregiver and he complains constantly.  I think it's about maintaining control.  As long as she isn't mistreating the caregiver, let her talk.  Another thing I've found is that my husband can't think of words to say and doesn't know how to carry on conversations about subjects.  So he resorts to complaining.  We moved into a small apartment and he complains about noise. It's really a quiet place but once in awhile we can hear people above us walking.  Usually when they get up in the morning. No biggie but he complains about it constantly.  He says he hates this place.  He says I'm trying to feed him too much. (he eats twice a day and a snack before bed). We don't go out to eat anymore because it's too overwhelming for him. He doesn't recognize some foods anymore.  I call him "Mr. Grumpy Pants"  and try to ignore it but it's so difficult. One thing about Dementia is that it's not just the memory that's affected.  My husband isn't logical or rational anymore.  He connects dots that aren't there. There is a book that a nurse recommended that has helped me a lot.  The 36-Hour Day" - A Family Guide...  it's on Amazon in paperback. It explains many behaviors and has helped me more than anything.  Hope this helps.