roller coaster of emotions

Elshack

DH is in memory care and is on Hospice. On a Monday, he had another one of the events where he is drooling and non responsive for several minutes. He also fell. Hospice Dr RXd an Ativan and DH recovered. On Wed my nephew and wife visited after a 4 hr drive here and DH seemed to be ok. Fast forward 4 days and memory care called me and said he fell and hit his head and had abrasions on his face. Hospice sent him to the ER and they did a CAT scan and also took x-rays and said he was ok. He is 92 1/2 yrs old. 

He looks totally beat up and when I visit him of course I don't mention it as he wouldn't remember anyway. He is on a pureed diet due to swallowing issues. I find as this continues, my nerves are shot. I can't imagine what it will be like to never see him again after he dies but on the other hand I can't imagine living like this for many more months. 

White Crane

Elshack, My heart goes out to you. Holding you and your husband close in prayer and sending virtual hugs.

Brenda 

Ed1937

Elshack, I'm sorry. I wish I could offer words to make it a little better. This is a very hard time in caregiving.

Denise1847

Dear Elshack, Does the facility have counseling available for you?   You need to talk to someone and let it out.   If they don't, please get some therapy to help you though this.  I find it to be so validating and somehow it gives you strength to go forward.  You may want to reach out to your doctor for some medication to ease any anxiety, try to take walks outside.

I am so sorry and pray you and your DH feel God's presence.

Lgw

I so understand your mixed feeling.  I know I will miss my DH but I am so tired and he will be better off after passing.  The stress of what is to happen next is tough.  I know it also doesn't help to be told you are strong enough to get through this.  I know I'm not.  I just do because there is no choice with this disease.  I will be praying for you.