Advice for bowel incontinence

TyZay

TyZay Spouse has middle to late stage Alzheimer’s. Lately has been having bowel incontinence. Doesn’t seem to recognize that he needs to go to the bathroom and goes in his Depends and then makes his way to the bathroom. Or, takes his Depends off on the way to bathroom and goes all over the floor. When I ask why he does that he’s says he doesn’t know why. I have him on a probiotic and diarrhea medicine. Have stopped taking Donepezil and Memantine with Drs. approval. Just looking for advice. Thank you.

Ed1937

Hello Ty. I'm sorry you are dealing with this now. I dealt with my wife's incontinence for close to a year. About the only advice I might give is to keep a close eye on him. Time will come, if not already here, where you will need to do the cleaning for him. If you don't, he won't know what to do, and he'll have it all over his hands, not knowing what to do with it. Then it's whatever's handy. A towel or shower curtains are common areas that might be used by him to wipe his hands. Hopefully you have a shower that is not too hard for him to get into for cleaning him up. I don't know what I would have done without one. Best of luck to you.

Kenzie56

TyZay, I have had my ups and downs with this and think I have found a routine that works now...but may not next week.  I figured out when he seemed to have a BM and made sure I took him to the bathroom to sit on the toilet to see if he could go.  Same time each morning.  Some days - success other not until later.  He didn't know what to do on the toilet. He was used to urinating in his diapers as well as defecating whenever. When I took him by the hand and told him that I had to go, so maybe he has to go, he at least went with me to the bathroom and sat on the toilet.  I turned on the sink faucet, which helped him urinate. Defecating has been an issue, but I try to ask hourly to see if I can catch it in time.  I hope this helps.  It is a real issue.  Good luck.  Like I said before - what works for me one week, doesn't always work the next.

Ed1937

I'm pretty sure Beachfan had good success, but it wasn't easy. I'm pretty sure she'll post on this thread.

Beachfan

Ed,

What a coincidence!  I was reading posts and thought…..should I weigh in…. .???  Who really cares how I devoted my every waking hour to managing DH’s toileting????  Looking back, sometimes I made it seem too easy to manage the incontinence issue, but now I realize that although I truly did have it under control, it was a herculean effort on my part.  And now that it’s behind me (DH is in a MCF), I can admit it was exhausting, frustrating at times, but always beat the alternative (cleaning up.)

Long story short, for at least 7 years prior to his  MCF placement, DH never, ever used a toilet alone.  Never; I was always right there, start to finish.  I was able to “schedule” him, learned to pick up on subtle hints that he needed to be toileted, woke him early in the morning for a bathroom run, pretty much never left him out of my sight.  If he stirred at night, I would literally drag him to the bathroom (I was a light sleeper then). I was like a dog with a bone…..relentless!  If we were out, I smuggled him into the ladies’ room wherever we were; it was never an issue.  I can count on 2 hands the number of accidents he had and none were of the horrific magnitude that I’ve read about on these forums.  He seemed to be aware that he had to “go”; he just didn’t know where the bathroom was or what to do once there, so I always had to be available to intervene.  It was also helpful that eventually he would sit to use the toilet and was not adverse to my cleaning him up.  Within a week of MC placement, he was in Depends as there was no one available to pre-empt his every toileting need.  

I didn’t realize how much time and effort I had expended caring for DH in this regard until I didn’t have to do it any longer.  When I was in the thick of it, I just carried on, blindly,  without much thought.  Looking back, I don’t miss a minute of it; after 16 months of placement, I still marvel at the time I spent walking on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop.  TyZay, I hope you are able to arrive at a workable solution; incontinence can be such a huge problem with this disease.  Best of luck- - stay strong. 

RobertsBrown

Hey Beachfan.  Thank you for sharing this again.  I am living that life now, and I honestly have moments when Mrs. gets up to go, and I darn near let her...and then I snap to and manage the bathroom visit.  It is pretty much the focus of every minute until she finally goes, and then I am 'free' for several hours without having to worry about her discomfort or distress.

The things we adjust to......

Pat6177

TyZay is your DH sensitive to any foods that might be causing the diarrhea? Dairy is a frequent culprit. Has he been eating different foods lately? Maybe a lot of ice cream? Some people have reactions to artificial sweeteners. I’m guessing you’ve already considered these possibilities… I’m sure diarrhea makes the whole incontinence issue much worse. Hang in there. I hope you discover the cause soon.

TyZay

Hi Ed, thank you for the advice about having towels/shower curtain nearby. We do have a walk-in shower which does make it easier for cleanup.

TyZay

Hi Kenzie, I’m learning now to stay around the house all morning and keep asking him to use the bathroom.  Thank you for the advice.

TyZay

Hi Beachfan, I appreciate your advice and insight.  Every bit helps. Thank you.

TyZay

Thank you Pat.  I’ll keep trying to find what is triggering the diarrhea.