How do I enjoy this?

Teach2000

I so appreciate this forum. I am grateful to be able to post here and read advice from others that understand this impossible journey. My mom is late stages of Alzheimer’s. I am mourning the mom that I raised me and I’m informed in what processes so I know where this is going. I have been told often to enjoy my time with her now. Please give me advice on how to do that.

Lirael12

Would anyone have any advice on good activities that will bring purpose to the patient's life with social interaction but not too many people due to COVID concerns? The patient is spending most of the day sleeping, and I want to find something that will give him something to look forward to and feel needed.

I thought about volunteer opportunities, but he's not too great with instructions these days, so I'm worried the volunteer group may get frustrated. 

sunnydove

My mom was my best friend and I miss her so incredibly much. But I also adore the sweet toddler-like girl she is now. While this disease sucks on a daily basis, there are times that make me feel grateful. Mostly when I get feedback that she's actually happy. If I sing "you are my sunshine" to her, her eyes tear up and she smiles and tries to sing with me. She loves it! Try singing to your mom or playing music that she used to love. Music is magic! We also watch lots of silly shows like America's Funniest Videos (especially the animal edition) and I will be silly and make the same sounds as the animals or if animals are dancing I'll act goofy and dance too and she will giggle. It's amazing how rewarding it is to get her to smile/laugh/cry happy tears! And of course any time I dote on her telling her how incredibly beautiful she is and how much I just love spending time with her and that she's my best friend she practically purrs. Hugs make her happy too. 

Just thought of one other thing... my mom was never into makeup but she just loves when I brush some powder on her face, give her rosy cheeks, draw on eyebrows (I only started doing it because she was drawing them on with whatever she could find, including sharpies!) and brush her hair. It's such a sweet moment for both of us. It doesn't take away the pain of what you lost, but it does fill your heart with joy and love for the person you are caring for now. 

VKB

My mother had severe dementia, and I found it to be hard work and sad. What helped me was prayer. God always guided me to have positive thoughts, especially I was learning what love meant. For truly it is a decision to love and make a sacrifice for someone else. This is why caregivers are some of the best people there are.

I prayed you find some peace in this most difficult journey.  God bless both of you.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

dayn2nite2

When my mom was still alive, I found that learning how to be PRESENT in the moment with her was the most wonderful thing.  Not with my mind being somewhere else, on what was happening tomorrow or 2 hours from now, but right there with her, holding her hand and talking about whatever we would talk about.

Some of my best memories are when I would be chattering away and out of nowhere she (her talking was very minimal) would say something that was so awesome.  For a second "she" was back again.  I remember every single time it happened.  I miss her terribly still 12 years later.  

The best thing you can do is focus only on your LO for the time you are with them.  It can help to keep a journal, which is also something I did.

HollyBerry

Half the time my mom thought I was her sister,  not her daughter,  so I tried to think of stories I had heard or things I knew they had done together.  Music was a big thing in their youth so we went to anything I could find with music I thought she would like. I asked her advice about sewing projects. She watched me knit and we laughed at how bad I am at knitting! We watched old movies and stupid TV.  Sometimes I'd just sit with a magazine and have a one-sided conversation about an article. We'd look at catalogs and I'd ask her to help me decide what to order for so-and-so's birthday.  When she came to my house a few times a year, I'd ask her to help me cook, which was more like cooking with a very young child, but we both enjoyed it.