Count your blessings

Midwest Gal

As care takers it's often hard to keep from sinking into the state of depression.  I am generally a positive person, so I make every attempt to enjoy my life through this journey. Some days are easier than others....as we all know.  This forum has helped such as: My DH constant shadowing can be very annoying but taking off at night in a winter storm is much more terrifying (I know).  My DH peeing on the toilet seat is annoying but I'm so thankful that he still uses the bathroom.  Dropping coffee on the living room carpet is annoying, but I'm glad that we can still enjoy it together and experience the best part of his day and I purchased a portable carpet cleaner so I stand ready now.  Measuring, advocating and monitoring medications can be a hassle but I am so thankful that DH takes whatever I hand him without question and often offers a thank you.  Dressing him can become taxing but I'm happy that he accepts whatever I bring him and tries his best to assist.  I often envy my friends that are sailing off to tropical vacations but I'm grateful that DH will usually jump in and come along to wherever I want to drive and can still take walks with me in the woods or the local zoo.  I find it a bit irritating that our friends only advice is to "place him."  I'm well aware of services as I spend 40 years as a state social worker and assume that day will come when one of us is no longer safe or if he just can no longer be happy here.  My DH came along after my first husband died in his sleep and I was left in an old double wide with a two-year-old son and a farm and animals to manage.  He saved us and provided a wonderful life for us for 30 years.  I feel like it's time for me to give back as long as I can hold up!  Thank you for your stories.  It really does help.

Mint

Thank you for sharing

Ed1937

And that's the thinking that makes it just a little easier to manage a job like this. Great post!

LJCHR

Thank you for your post.  My situation is similar to yours - I was a widow who married a widower 13 years ago.  Today, I am so grateful to have my DH and pray that I can keep him with me forever.  So far I am able to manage the caretaking - none of us know what our future will be, other than our loved ones are not going to get any better than they are today.  

There are days that get the best of me but I feel so blessed to have a good as to expected life.

The clean-ups do get trying at times, but I just continue to tell myself he can't help it and I remember the good times before this horrible disease.

Hang in there.  

storycrafter

It's so helpful in any situation to count our blessings. You're great at it. Thanks for the great example of how to do so. When I ask myself, what would I do if he weren't here, I cannot imagine life without him. The pluses outweigh the minuses in our case at this point, and I do feel very blessed. Getting past the initial shock and adjustments of the confusing early years trying to get a diagnosis, makes it easier now in the relative stability we've attained. I'm so grateful for helpful medication that relieves his symptoms and provides quality of life he wouldn't otherwise have. It's taken a while, but, I'm thankful for a support system I've built for us, and my own mental health.

I hope you don't mind me asking... which carpet cleaner did you get? Is it easy to use and as effective as you'd hoped? I need to find one, but there are too many to sort through.

Thank you for sharing your experience, strength, and helpful inspiration.

Pat6177

Midwest Gal, I am grateful for this forum. Without it, I wouldn’t know how many blessings I have. I’ve learned from reading here what problems we’ve avoided so far. I’m grateful that my DH is not aggressive or violent. I’m grateful that he isn’t having delusions or hallucinations. I’m grateful that he can still do his ADLs. He has hardly any short term memory, hardly any long term memory, limited thought processes. But he is generally agreeable, always tells me my cooking is delicious (I’m not a good cook!) and says thank you for a variety of things. I’m thankful he’s not restless or shadowing me. And again, I’m thankful for this forum because I know any and all of these things may develop. All of your stories prepare me and give me tools to cope.

Storycrafter - I have cats that puke a lot and have a Bissell carpet cleaner that I’ve had for a couple of years. It’s the pet care version and it works pretty well. 

RobertsBrown

I needed this today.

Your are so completely right-on.

Thank you 10X

toolbeltexpert

Midwest thanks for telling the others great ideas for  caregivers ,all those little things you get to enjoy. To the friends that say place, do they feel that empty hole in the heart that happens when your all alone,maybe just a simple drive in the springtime brings such heart ache and tears not having our lo to share it with.  Yes it is good knowing they are safe and well cared for, but it will never be like the care we would give. 

Here's to you enjoy those rides, may the carpet cleaner be a blessing, may those words your dh still says left you up.

Stewart

Midwest Gal

Yes Story Crafter I also picked up the Bissell Pet Staineraser.  It looks like a dust buster and you can keep the soap in it ready for action!  It seemed pretty easy.

RCT

Thank you…beautiful post….acceptance and gratitude EVERY day!

Kibbee

Great post and a great reminder to look for the positive .  Like the old saying..”Count your troubles, you’ll be sad.  Count your blessings, you’ll be glad.”.

Sometimes I remind myself that because DH is no longer mobile, he’s no longer creating a trail of mess and clutter all over the house.  And he’s also generally a happy and contented guy.  I just have to make sure he has a steady stream of movies and music, with a few cookies and sweet treats provided now and then.  Could be worse.

mrl

Aaahhh, what a delightful thing to read on a Monday morning. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work

Michele

Scooterr

Midwest Gal, excellent post, so heartfelt and a great way to put it in perspective. I too needed to hear this today (rough start this morning). I'm so thankful to still have my DW with me. It's a very lonely job being a caregiver and this forum is so helpful with so many caring folks. Your doing a GREAT JOB Midwest Gal stay strong.

LadyTexan

I agree completely. Excellent Post.

I tried to celebrate the blessings and the magical moments. I still try to verbalize gratitude. The journey was difficult. But what a tremendous blessing to share my life with DH. 

toolbeltexpert

I don't want to hijack this thread but it's good to hear you post Lady Texan.

Another Day

Midwest Gal - From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU! Your post is the exact thing we all need to focus on, staying as positive as we can at all times. We all know it's tough at times, however, we can't live in negatives and expect to get anything done. This site and the people who share have made a BIG difference in my life. Count your blessings daily, I do try each day to do that especially as I'm talking to God. I hope others reading this will step back and count a few positives as you have done. I'm counting some myself this morning, one of them is the people here who share their stories, some good, some not so good, but I'm learning something from each and every one I read. 

I pray the the good Lord blesses you in whatever you need this day. ~ In His Love ~

Sandy1956

Thank you, Midwest Gal, for your post.  I surely needed this today.  One never knows the impact one has in this world.

ImMaggieMae

Midwest Gal, thank you so much for your post. I needed to hear that today. Things are going generally well, considering. But sometimes the worry just overwhelms me. Your post helps.