Guardianship(8)

JDG236 · March 2023

My question is whether or not we should consider Guardianship. I have DPOA and Medical DPOA. However, Dad has moved in with an old girlfriend (Geri) who used to work with him, and she's been waiting years for him to decide to be with her. She's a lonely old lady who is desperate to be with Dad. He doesn't remember how they met - he just knows that he's living with her. He also recently asked me how long he and I have known each other - I'm his 45 year old son.

He has a crazy / angry streak like I've never seen before. He threatened to rip my f-ing head off when I took his car (screaming at the top of his lungs), and she drove him to my house to fight me early one morning. He want off the deep end when we visited Assisted Living. Geri tells her own children, and myself, that Dad is perfectly healthy and doesn't need help. I told her that he was diagnosed in 2017 and is around stage 5/6 and explained that she is his caregiver - with details around what we need her to do as a caregiver. I was hoping to scare her out of it, but I know she's afraid to lose him. She enables him in every way:

Was telling him to drive and to buy a new car.
That he's perfectly healthy
That I'm stealing his money. That continues very often, because he forgets after we talk with the banker and financial advisor.
He's home alone in her apartment for almost 5 hours / 2 or 3 days a week.
That I'm trying to shove him in a home.
Her son told me they sit in her apartment all day talking about how bad of a person I am.

I'm nervous for many reasons.

Dad talks about moving back to Florida from Philly (where we are) - he spent the Winters there with a nice girlfriend. She couldn't care for him, so he moved home - and moved in with Geri.
He owns a vacation home and he's actively trying to sell it to move back to Florida. He has no one there to help him and he thinks he's fine. I don't expect him to be able to buy a home, but I'm pretty certain that he could sell his current one. We plan on renting it to pay for his Assisted Living - when the time comes.
He flew down to Florida back in January - Geri helped him buy a plane ticket and cab ride to the airport. I got a call from a cab driver in Florida later that day saying that Dad doesn't know what's going - looking for my help. I arranged for a flight home and picked him up from the airport that evening. It could have ended very badly.
That Dad could hurt himself, get physical with me or my wife if something happens.
That Geri could direct him to buy something or give way his finances to her.
I suspect that he drives her car, but not sure. He has no license and got lost while driving whenever driving - prior to giving up his car.
I received a call from the branch manager at his bank that Dad was trying to withdrawal $5000. They talked him down to $500 - he doesn't know the difference in units of time or money.
He looks physically healthy and is able to shower and feed himself (he's losing weight fast though).
He has good days and bad days. He's usually better when he's angry, which makes me nervous for a court hearing.

We're in discussions about Guardianship, but I'm concerned that we'll lose causing things to get worse. I could do nothing and try to block him from selling the house, make financial arrangements to keep him from spending / giving money away. If we lose, we'll lose what little control over the situation that we do have. He tried calling an attorney about changing his POW and will - but it didn't go any where. Thoughts?

Thanks,

Jeff