Need to care for myself...What to do with MOM

Wilted Daughter

Hello,

I have medical procedure scheduled in April which may require multiple days in hospital and weeks of downtime/recovery (medical second option pending). Has anyone had experience with placing 90 year-old mom or what to do for planning her care during this period (i.e. 3-4 weeks).

As an only child and mom's medical modalities, etc. family is not an option. The best option is to use respite care through ASAP, which allows placement in SNF within a rotating 6-month period (mom can be placed in SNF for 1 stay up to 6-mos or multiple stays within 6-mos). Locating a facility with an available bed for the dates required is an issue (not like booking hotel...availability fluctuates and most will not hold a bed). I've used this 'voucher' at one facility which she likes, but dates are not guaranteed.

Just trying to plan ahead...

Thank you

JJAz

Respite care is a good choice.  Don't try to hobble together a home-care situation.  They can easily fall apart when you're least able to handle it.  Don't wait until your surgery (which isn't far away anyway).  Get her into a facility soon to ensure that you get a bed and don't have to worry about it.

SueMW

My husband and I used respite care at a local nursing home/assisted living facility last year when we took a 2-wk (planned 4 years ago) trip to Israel and Germany. I lost several sleepless nights in advance of the trip wondering how Mom would do without me - her only child caregiver for 8 years - but we were pleased at how well she managed (or they managed her) during our absence. I enlisted help with local people from our church to visit Mom every few days or so which helped me feel less like I'd abandoned Mom and more like she was just staying at a motel! Afterwards, they would text so I'd know they'd visited and she was doing well. Check out several facilities, interview them as they interview you and choose the one that "feels right" and seems best to you... Good luck with your procedure!

Wilted Daughter

Thank you JJAz,

I've been thinking about it more as time draws near...reached out to one facility. After reading your response, my plan is to check weekly with select facilities and when a bed becomes available take it. I'll ask if they have an alternative option, such as notify me when bed is available. 

Some resources are difficult to find and difficult to use. 

Best wishes 

Wilted Daughter

Thank SueMW, 

There is a preferred SNF where mom has stayed and we have had good results. It's small and mom is known by staff which is good. They are my go to facility/preferred facility and contacted first, I did receive a response so we are headed in the right direction. 

The date is not flexible this time around, but I am sure I will find a place for mom. Mom prefers the phone over visits so that's fine. She will have a roomie, staff check-ins, scheduled exercise, etc. Although I wish I could go on an extended VAC, I'll be satisfied with TCB and time off from caregiving!

Again, thank you for your response.