Just Want to Hug Him One More Time

saltom

I have not posted nor read much on this forum the last three weeks as DH was in a new MC center and I was staying away from visiting for two weeks so he could get acclimated.  I talked to him once on the phone and he was happily singing "The Rain in Spain" with one of the caregivers. I was about to call and ask if I could visit when the MC called me saying DH was having trouble breathing and had not woken the day before or that day.  I went and spent two  hours with him. He never opened eyes, but was a bit agitated and his breathing was rattled. The Hospice aid came and bathed him, and the Hospice doctor gave him a dose of morphine which calmed him down. They said DH would probably last about a day.  I told DH I loved him and missed him and it was alright to let go, and that I was going to get gas in the car and come back to see  him. I got gas and stopped in the grocery store where I got a call DH had died. I wasn't even gone a half hour. My fantasy is he heard me and didn't want me to see him die, but Oh God, I just want to hug him one more time. Our daughters and sons-in-law, grandkids, and friends have been wonderful and supportive. But I still want that one last hug. And I cling to the fantasy he heard me. I am also so grateful to this forum and the support and information I have received from all of you. I probably shall continue to read postings as part of my therapy and grieving process.

loveskitties

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Very often death will occur once a LO leaves...and I believe it is because the patient wishes to save them from that scene.

May you and your family find peace that your DH is now free of this terrible disease.

As a person of faith, I believe you will be united again, and will get that hug.

Joe C.

My sincere condolences on the loss of your husband. May you find peace in the days ahead.

M1

So sorry Saltom.  I agree, peace to you both and your whole family.

Lorita

I'm so sorry for your loss, saltom.  I'm glad you had family nearby to be with you during this difficult time.

Marie is right, you'll be with your husband again.  That's what I keep telling myself about being with Charles.  Maybe you'll dream of him often like I do so you can give him that hug in your dreams.

Be kind to yourself and rest when you can.  Don't feel bad about not being with him at the end - he probably knew it would be easier on you that way.

ImMaggieMae

Dalton, I am so sorry for your loss. May you and your family find peace in the days ahead.

Ed1937

Salton, I'm so sorry for your loss. Please try to focus on the fact that he is no longer suffering. I'm so glad you have support to lean on. I wish strength for you in the coming days/months.

Joydean

Saltom I too want to extend my condolences to you and your family. You most definitely will be with him someday and you will get and give all the hugs forever. Peace and strength to you. 

Mint

Saltom I am so sorry for the loss of your dear husband.  It is very possible he heard what you said.

Another Day

Saltom, I'm so very sorry for your loss. He heard you.....just wanted to save you from the upset he knew you'd feel. May you find peace in the knowledge that he is now healed. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

mrl

Saltom,

He absolutely heard you. God Bless,

Michele

toolbeltexpert

Saltom so sorry for your loss. Praying for you all.

Last Dance

 

Saltom, I am so for your lost.  My sincere condolences on the loss of your husband.          Tears of joy or tears of sadness which ones do we cry? Part of us wants them to stay and part of us wants them to be free of their pain and misery. I do believe that he heard you when you said you loved him, and I also believe that he didn't want you to be there when he passed. This same thing happened to my sister who took care of my mother, she stepped out of the room for a few minutes and my mother was gone, the same thing happened to my wife who took care of her mother for five years. Her mother wasn't expected to pass until sometime early the next day this was at 6:00 o'clock in the evening, so we went down to the cafeteria just to get a cup of coffee and come back up and while we were in the elevator my wife got a call that her mother had just passed away. For me I sat with my wife all night long about 4:15 AM I fell asleep I woke up not 5 minutes later and she was gone. I truly believe he knew you loved him as I believe that my mother, my wife's mother, and my wife didn’t want those that loved them so much, see them pass. Take joy in the fact that you did get to see him one last time and tell him that you loved him and that's all he needed to hear, and he knew he was free to go. May God's blessings be with you as you start a new life without him, let the bad memories fade away and hold on to the good memories      Richard

Dio

So sorry for your loss! It's been said that people in a coma can still hear even if they can't respond. With that notion, perhaps your husband was able to hear your loving words in order to let go and leave peacefully. May you find peace in the days ahead.

White Crane

I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear husband. As others have said, I believe he heard your words. He knew you loved him. I’m sorry you didn’t get that one last hug, but may you find peace In the days ahead. God bless you.

mrahope

So, so, sorry for your loss and hoping the memory of the hugs you did get to give him and the good times you shared sustains you.

Denise1847

I am so sorry for your loss.   I volunteered in Hospice several years ago and I learned that the dying will hang on to either spare their loved ones or till there is closure to issues or the arrival of a person.   Please don't focus on your not being present.  Often times, the dying see those that have gone before them and they are not alone.   It is time for you to heal and your spouse would want.   It will take time but you will come to feel peace for all of the love you gave your spouse and the fact that he is not stuck in the darkness of the disease.  You will see him again.

Sligo177

Saltom,

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I believe he did hear you, and hears you now.  He's no longer suffering.  I know it's hard, I pray that it will get a bit easier for you day by day.  Take care.

Jgirl57

I too believe he heard you and I am glad you found this forum when you did.

Hugs to you and your family.