Taking vacation

Klako

This week on Thursday my husband and I are trying to get away for a long weekend. My dad is in AL and I visit him almost every day. So this will be the first time I will be away from him for 5 days. I have arranged for my two sons and his brother to visit while we are away. Is there anything I should be thinking about or arranging that I am not thinking of besides just people to visit while I am away? I have anxiety about the situation because unless there is a medical emergency we really need this break. I know it is healthy and living my life but with everything the feeling is always that you feel badly for living when the person you are caring for has little to no life in sense we all think of life. Would you call while away or just wait to see if anything is needed?

harshedbuzz

The need for you to put on your own oxygen mask at this time overrides all but the most serious medical emergencies. In order to continue on as a competent caregiver and advocate, you need to take a mental break and attend to your other important relationships.

It's great that you have lined up others to visit. Depending on where your dad is in terms of cognition, he may not be able to recognize how long you're gone. My dad thought I visited daily. He thought my mom hardly ever visited. We traded off days.

That said, without a daily visit, he may be more inclined to take part in activities at the facility and talk to others at meals.

HB

M1

Agree with HB that you should go, and I personally would not call==hard as that is, HB may well be right that he may not have any sense of time or of how frequently you visit. Being away is likely to be harder on you than it is on him. Hard to know for sure, but likely.

Quilting brings calm

Don’t call. Instead leave it in the hands of the people you’ve designated in your absence. Someone will call you if you are needed. Your spouse needs this time with you - and you need time with your spouse.

kamilawal

it's hard to say, it all depends on the person

mommyandme (m&m)

Leave and enjoy. You’ll be called if something is needed. What’s the worst thing that could happen? That’s what I asked myself when contemplating a leave and I decided I could live with the worst thing. The best thing that can happen is you get a needed break for your life. He’s not being displaced for your needs and he’ll still get everything needed for his safety.

Klako

Thank you all for your help. We went on vacation and although I have not seen my dad yet, we got back late last night, it was wonderful. So good to be with my husband uninterrupted. Our two sons and his brother went to visit and assured me he was ok each day. I did not call him and it all worked out. It was hard to do, but all of your help and encouragement helped and I realize that we need this break every so often. Thank you!

M1

Glad you had a good time Klako and glad you carried through. Now is the time to start planning the next break--something to look foward to!