acceptance in MC

DorisEmma

I am now ready to place my DH but have run into an unexpected problem. I have chosen a MC that is in the town our only child and her family live. The plan was that we would move him there so they can be available for visits and any concerns when I am not there. They are in another state. The room is reserved with the large upfront fee. We will be private pay. Now the admission interview is to take place by Zoom so they can assess his level of care. The problem is that after 3 attempts, my husband refuses to participate and gets angry each time and leaves. We changed the process to a normal conversation, told little fibs about the interviewer, changed interviewers all with no success. Because we are in a different state, they may not be able to send a person to our home and if they could, I am not sure my DH would participate. After today's 3rd failed attempt, the staff is to talk with the exe. director to assess options. I just wrote them offering to pay for an assessment and suggesting his PC physician is the best person to do it. I hope to get a positive response. I fear he will be denied. Can that happen?

DorisEmma

Or any other suggestions on how to handle.

towhee

I am sorry to say that they can deny him. The facility does their own assessment to determine if person will fit in their community, if they can handle not only his physical needs but also his behaviors. There is a good chance they will not accept a doctor's assessment. Often when there are behavior problems a facility will require that they be controlled with medication before they will accept placement. It sounds like you were planning to move with him? I am sorry that your plans have been disrupted and hope things work out.

M1

Hi Doris, unfortunately, yes it can definitely happen. My partner was denied by my preferred facility last year even with an in-person assessment. I doubt that they will want the doctor to do it and frankly, I doubt that the doctor will have the expertise to do it (I'm a doc, and I wouldn't-)-the issues are not medical issues but rather issues regarding activities of daily living and nursing support.

The only thing I can think of is to ask whether they would accept an assessment from another facility near you. But I don't know what the likelihood is of finding someone who will cooperate with that. So difficult.

My partner had to be hospitalized because of threats of violence (only towards me) before she oculd be placed in memory care. If your husband's resistant behaviors continue, you may be facing the same issue.

Let us know what happens please. I'm so sorry for your dilemma.

DorisEmma

I am waiting for a response from the MC facility. In the meantime, I have made contact with his PC physician and a Geriatric MD who has seen him. The Geriatric MD has been adjusting his medications. I asked both about a geriatric psych placement if he is refused, in order to adjust his medications. As life goes, the PC physician is out of town until tomorrow and the Geriatric physician is expecting or has had her baby right now. But I can wait. I waited many years, maybe too many, for this placement. I will go on to step 2 if this placement fails.

harshedbuzz

DorisEmma-

I am sorry you are having this issue.

Sometimes MCFs cherry pick their residents in order to serve only the pleasantly befuddled. My dad was turned away on the basis of his diagnosis which has a reputation for challenging behaviors. By this point, dad was mostly beyond that point; the MCF that did accept him raved about what a gentleman he'd been.

I would have a Plan B to work on. Maybe somewhere nearer you than your child unless there are some sort of extenuating circumstances where s/he is the POA and you won't be available or if you plan to move to that area soon.

HB

DorisEmma

Thank you for all your responses. Unfortunately, your experiences and thoughts confirm what I was already suspecting. Right now I am waiting for a response from the MC facility. I am thinking of a few options including placement in a geriatric psych facility to determine medication needs. I need to look at this as just a delay and not the end.

QuincyLF

Not sure what state you reside in - but in IL they have a Long Term Care Ombudsman program that may be able to chime in or even offer advice on acceptance into MC. It generally is state regulated - but to everyone's point - they do have the ability to decline (and even kick-out) residents. Perhaps if you google this in your state - they can help guide you along. Just a thought.

Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program (illinois.gov)

Jo C.

Hello DorisEmma, you have had some very good feedback from other Members. One thing did come to mind when reading the input. Perhaps it is best that your husband would not be accepted without an in-person assessment; reason being, it would be a significant issue should your husband be admitted to the MC facility only to have them decide they would not keep him and another facility would have to be found to transfer to. One would certainly want to avoid that.

Your husband's resistance and refusal may already have put a red flag up with the desired facility. While things are being addressed, perhaps it would be good to have a, "Plan B," for what would be the second best choice should he not be accepted at the first choice. As it goes, even if accepted by the desired facility, it is always good to have a Plan B in mind should the need arise to make a change.

I wish you the best outcome for everyone, let us know how things work out, we will be thinking of you.

J.