Looking for attorney who represents adult children with Alzheimer's parent

Bel414

Hi Everyone,

My mother has Alzheimer's. I now live with my parents. We have difficult family issues. My father is in denial and focuses on himself. I understand his fear.

The real problem is his four sisters. They have hated my mother since they started dating. Although my father came from poverty, my mother came from a violent family, alcoholic father, mother did nothing because of her hellish childhood. The world was hard 1910 through the depression. No social nets.

My paternal grandmother warned my mom in the late 70s that her four daughters were cruel and she could no longer do anything to change them Her husband died at 54 of an aneurysm .y father's four younger sisters screamed at my mom, called her a whore, gold-digger, and more. She was not Catholic so she was going to hell. This all came from her husband. Said he was divorce her. She had three children, I'm the oldest. They ignored and insulted us since we were born.

Two years ago, my father went into two months of delirium, ER, hospital, rehab. I found out that four months before this my four aunts held a secret meeting with my father. Told him to kick me out of house and divorce wife because she was going to use up all "his" money. So far, he has been mostly true to my mom, but he is influenced by them, and sadly can be just like them.

When dad was in rehab they came early before mom and me. Poisoned his delirious mind that mom and I were going to steal all of his money. Once I discovered (dad's mind was still very incapacitated), I called rehab and said that none of the sisters or husbands were allowed. My mom agreed. It was her direction.

The next day five came. An uncle who married an aunt late, is mentally ill like all of them, was sitting two feet from my dad's head smiling. He and wife carry concealed weapons. He laughed at me. "So what are you going to do Belinda? Something is wrong with you. You're sick. Go ahead, call the police!" This experience is outside of any I've had in my life. I screamed at him to leave. He said, "No." Finally, my mom, whose mind was healthier then, told him to "leave now." He slowly did, insulting me all the way out.

An aunt was sitting at a common table in the main area. She told me for about 15 min what a sick, lazy, horrible person I was. I screamed and cried. Another aunt and her uncle came in - ALL AGAINST my mother's request but the rehab place had one person at the front desk, and she of course could not handle these people.

This aunt got on her knees, prayed, and made the sign of the cross over her body. She walked around the table praying. I believe she had "blessed" water. It was frightening to me.

Before all this when my father had been sick just a year before bleeding in his stomach. My youngest, most aggressive aunt insisted on driving my mom to the hospital which, as all her life, she stayed all day, seven hours, with him. My aunt spent each day driving around shopping as usual. She did this a year before. My mother developed serious lower back pain for four months. Thank God it went away. My mom is not a complainer. If she says something hurts, it hurts.

The next hospitalization of my father, my mother asked my aunt to please pick her up by 7:00pm. It was too hard to stay later. She always arrived at eight and spent half an hour ignoring my mother and talking with the medical staff because she is arrogant and cruel. She thinks she’s the smartest person on the planet.

My mom told me what happened. She never had in the past not wanting to cause conflict. My father and his sisters rage when challenged. I KNEW my mom was upset and afraid. She NEVER says anything. We soon learned that my aunt had pushed herself into the situation to gain control and make my parents dependent on her. My mom could have driven herself at the time, but she didn’t dare refuse my aunt.

My mother has been walked on like a carpet her entire life, and taken care of everyone: her abusive father, her mother, her nephew torn away by her cruel older brother after 6 six years, and took care of her Vietnam Vet who is drug addicted. I gladly do now as she can longer.

I called my youngest aunt and asked her to please pick up my mom and 7PM if not earlier. She screamed calling me "bitch" went on yelling what a horrible, loser person I was and hung up the phone.

I could not put my mom with Alzheimer's at any emotional risk with these eight people, called the other three who a called me a "bitch" or "*$%& bitch." Also, my father was especially susceptible to their lies which put my mom in financial danger.

My father has recovered. My mom's disease is progressing.

For now, all eight are forbidden from the house.

My father meets his sisters every Monday for a long three our brunch where I know they continue to try to brainwash him.

My father was a good dad, is a good person, but suffers from mental illness, bigotry, and anger issues. My mom could stand up to him from her 30s, but she can no longer.

My father could fall back into delirium. He has a serious heart surgery coming up. He's 80 and not in the best of help. I truly love my dad, but I MUST protect my mom.

For myself, if my mother dies first, the four sisters will run over the house, call me a bitch and more and throw me out. I have two cats. I have not been working but part-time due to my mom and even my dad's illnesses and hospitalizations.

I had to put on display such personal information, but I want it documented in case someone thing happens.

We live in Wisconsin. I don't know if I need a lawyer in the state.

My brother supports my mom and me in her care and need for protection from my dad’s four sisters.

FINALLY, MY REQUEST - Does anyone use and/or know of a trustful attorney that represents children of a parent with Alzheimer's? I went to a support group last night and everyone agreed this was a good and necessary idea. Money is tight, but we will gladly pay.

Bless and thank all of you and the Alzheimer's Association!

Bel414

Email: [email protected]

CanyonGal

You need to speak with an attorney. With the legal documents, medical and financial power of attorney, you can control who sees your parents in the hospital or rehabilitation. Talk to the staff, and the unwanted aunts will be escorted out, either by staff or police.

As far as at home, sometimes the best you can do is not engage with their bad behavior. Boundaries need to be in place if you intend to stay their in your parent's home.

Perhaps a clergy member of a church can intervene? No one should live in an abusive situation.

The state should have free or low cost legal aid in your area. Maybe the local county court office can direct you to a resource.

towhee

Bel414, please delete your e-mail address, it is not safe for you for it to be on here. If there is someone specific you want to talk to you can private message them. If someone wants to give you a lawyers name they can private message you also.