Buggsroo where I am at

Buggsroo

Sorry for the radio silence. It’s been crazy here at the house because my mother has been in hospital since February, so I have been visiting her and caring for my husband. I am exhausted and doze off during Masterpiece Theatre or when PBS starts asking for money.

My husband still leaves turds about, I just follow mY nose and pick them up. He also pees on the floor so the house smells like a barn at times.

The geripsych was here today and he is now considered a crisis case. His trazadone has been increased and he is somewhat more biddable however, he will say no when he doesn’t like what’s going on. It has been a tough ride, the doctor said he was shocked at how quickly his dementia has accelerated.

I felt happy that something might be done but then felt sad because there is little or no vestiges of the man he once was. He turned 79 recently and he is going downhill fast.

I am always tired and sometimes I want to just do the silent scream like Munch’s painting but spring is here and I love spring so am looking forward to sitting outside. Aside from the odd panic attack, I am putting one foot in front of the other and living very much in the present.

Quilting brings calm

Oh I am so sorry. It seems like you’ve been trying for forever to get him placed. I hope things finally get somewhere for you soon.

michiganpat

Hi Buggsroo, I follow posts but don't post much as my DH is in early stages and his care is nothing compared to what I read on here, yet. Your postings are one of those I keep track of and am glad to see your update. I am in awe of your devotion, as hard as it is. My husbands behavior is very trying on some days and I wonder how you do it. My brother is quite advanced and my sister in law has her hands full of unimaginable trials, much as you. My sister is in a nursing home due to a TBI many years ago so I know quite well what dementia does. I wish you the very best and pray that placement for your husband takes place soon.

toolbeltexpert

Buggs I am always glad when you post. You are a great caregiver,your always upbeat,funny and you always find a way to put your foot forward. Glad the spring is popping everywhere. I like getting out and doing. I am gonna surprise my new nieghbors with a big row of sun flowers in my front yard. It brings in the gold finch.

I pray everyday for you and praying for the placement process you need for your dh.

Ed1937

Buggs, I think we all follow your posts. Thank you for the update, but sorry your mother's condition is giving you added grief. You certainly had more than enough before. Like others, I don't know how you have done it so far. Do you have reason to think placement might happen sooner, rather than later?

Another Day

Buggs - You've really got your hands full. It's wonderful that you are enjoying Spring. You reminded me that I need to get outside and enjoy some sunshine. My DH is still undiagnosed, but he knows something is not right. He's in denial too, he'll tell you that he does not have dementia. I left briefly yesterday and he decided to inspect the roof. Hmmm, he knew I would keep him from getting up there, so he waited until I left. Thank God he didn't fall. I guess too, my time to leave him home alone is about over.

Jo C.

Dear Buggs, I am sorry for what is happening with your dear mother on top of everything else.

It is really good to hear from you and get an update. I so hope that GeroPsych can light a flame under the placement folks. It is different in Canada from down here; we do the placement searches ourselves rather than having to wait for an official person to do it. Still; not easy.

Do you have anyone to lend a hand for a few hours or so for your being able to get out to run an errand or just for you to get a little breathing space?

One thing for sure, you have been amazing through some of the most difficult challenges any of us have faced and still kept your spirit about you.

I so hope that an open bed is soon found. I understand the feeling of regretful loss, but it may be that once your DH is placed that he will find the routine and structure peaceful and that he will enjoy having increased socialization as well as having activities to take part in to his ability or just to watch and you will be able to be the relaxed spouse who can visit and be the loving wife without the stress and exhaustion you have been enduring. May it be a blessing for both of you.

We will wait in hope that all works out soonest,

J.

White Crane

Buggs, You have been through so much! Hoping and praying things work out. You are an amazing caregiver!

mrahope

I don't know how to tell how much I hope that things get better for you and your family. TBH, you are one of my heroes.

ladyzetta

Dear Buggs. It is nice hearing from you I was starting to wonder how you were doing. You are such a loving caregiver. I am so sorry to hear you are now also taking care of your mother. I hope your also taking care of yourself.

You will be in my prayers, as well as placement for your DH. You have taken such good care of him, but it's time for you to take care of yourself. You are totally amazing with all you have done. Hugs Zetta

Buggsroo

Thank you all for such lovely notes. I do my best but it has taken a toll. The geripsych came and saw my husband and has recommended crisis placement. The behaviours are the same but I just clean up after him and grit my teeth. What else can you do. Spring always makes me feel great and I love the seasonal changes.

My mother is starting to do much better but one of her cats is dying so a sad time for us. My mom cried on the phone when I told her but I told her that the cat may rally, my brother is taking the cat to the vet.

Thank you all for your support, it is really wonderful for me. As for cleaning up poo and pee, bit of an expert here. One of my mom’s cats is leaving turds around the house, my brother balked at cleaning it, so I told him not to worry, shit is shit, either from a person or a cat.