New to the site

GodIsGood2Me2023

Hello everyone! I’m new to this website. My brother and I along with my Mother was informed by a Neuropsychologist last week that she has early stage of Alzheimer’s. She still lives in her home with my brother. 

The doctor mentioned to me about getting a POA in place which I’ve never done before. Not sure if there are other legal documents that I need to have completed along with the POA. I mainly take care of all her finances, medical, groceries and things that needs done around the house. 

Just looking to build some connections with others who are dealing with the same issues as me and to see if someone has any suggestions or advice. Thank you!

towhee

Welcome to the forum, although sorry for the reason you are here.

I am glad that you and your brother were able to come together at the beginning of this journey. So many families fall apart even before a diagnosis, and that makes the journey so much harder. My general advice is for you both to get a basic understanding of the disease and the care that will be needed in the future. Those on the forum often recommend The 36 Hour Day (this book should be available in your local library), Smashwords – Understanding the Dementia Experience – a book by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller, this is a shorter article, youtube videos by Dementia Careblazers (multiple subjects), and UCLA Health -Dementia.

As to legal necessities, your doctor is right. You need a Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA), a Health Care Power of Attorney (however it is called in your state) and a HIPAA release. During the early stage, so long as your loved one (LO) is somewhat competent. and they can give permissions and back you up as needed you can do things informally. But the time will come when that no longer works, and at that point your LO is no longer competent to fill out these forms. Then you have to go for guardianship, not something you will enjoy doing. You need to get these done, as gently as possible. It is often advised that the person doing the direct personal care holds both the DPOA and HPOA, but sometimes it works to split them up. It is also often advised that you see a certified elder care attorney (CELA) (nelf.org) or if one is not available a lawyer listed on naela.org. What is important is that the lawyer does a significant amount of practice in elder law. You do not want someone whose only interest is in medicaid planning, but you do want someone knowledgeable in what programs and resources are available and what costs are in your area. If you do not already have a good idea of your LOs resources, you need to determine that.

Please keep coming back to the forum with any other questions or needs.

"Until there is a cure, there is care"

GodIsGood2Me2023

Thank you for providing me with this helpful information. I really appreciate it. Will definitely keep coming back this forum.

Ed1937

Welcome to the forums. We have a lot of good people here, willing to share experiences with you, and give you a lot of support and understanding.

Here is another link to "Understanding the dementia experience". If you follow this link, you will see chapter headings that are clickable, but clicking on them does not work. But the arrows toward the bottom of the page do. https://www.smashwords.com/extreader/read/210580/1/understanding-the-dementia-experience#hlangandcommun  

When it comes time for your mother to go to the CELA (certified elder law attorney), explain that everyone needs to have these things done, especially when they get a little older. Make sure that she understands that she is not giving you power of attorney now, but a DPOA is a durable power of attorney, which goes into effect if she could not give consent for medical decisions, such as if she were in an accident, and unable to do that. Or if she could not make rational decisions for herself for whatever reason. She will need someone she trusts to be her power of attorney if that should happen. There can be more than one person acting on her behalf, and that will be spelled out in the DPOA. If there are two people, they can act independently or together, however it is written. My daughter and I held DPOA for my wife, and we could act independently. Whoever she chooses needs to know in detail what her wishes are for medical treatment.