Not Changing Clothes

sherilm

My mother dresses herself. However, she keeps wearing the same clothes, maybe changing her shirt occasionally. When I have her shower, I put out all fresh clothing in a neat pile on the bathroom counter and ask her to give me her dirty clothing so I can do laundry when she's done. She comes out in the same clothes she had been wearing! When I try to get her to change, she tells me her clothes are clean and there's nothing wrong with them. I've tried putting a laundry basket in her room but she won't use it either. Occasionally I'll find a soiled pair of underwear hiding somewhere but otherwise I can't get her to change them. Any suggestions?

Marta

Go into the bathroom and supervise her showering. Remove the dirty clothes. At this point she likely needs cuing to shower, as it is a multi step process. Now, you have to come up with a fiblet as to why you are doing this. There should be no element of criticism in your fiblet , such as “Mom, you need help,” or “Mom, you stink.”

You may want to watch some YouTube videos by Teepa Snow about showering, and so many other issues that we caregivers face.

Only you know whether your Mom would accept a specific fiblet. I am hoping some of our members who are adept at coming up with fiblets will post here.

M1

Agree that you are probably going to have to be more active in removing the dirty clothes when she takes them off and not leaving them as an option to be put back on, such that the only clothes available to her are the clean ones. This is similar to when incontenence products/Depends become necessary--the other underwear options have to be removed. Always hard when another facet of independence is lost, and you may have to come up with fiblets to respond to protests--but sounds like you're there. Maybe something like "I'm just ready to to a load of laundry, I'll add these" would work?

sherilm

Thank you! I hadn't thought of waiting until she's in the shower to grab her dirty clothes. She's still able to undress and shower on her own so once she's in the bathroom (which is where she undresses), I don't bother her. But sounds like I may need to sneak in and grab those dirty clothes!

Jeanne C.

I was having the same issue. I have to coach my husband into the shower and now include picking out new clothes and undressing in the coaching. He's not looking for privacy so I think it's a little easier on me, but, for now, picking out new clothes prior to showering and reminders to put each item in the hamper seems to do the trick.