Not again

LarryD

My dw of 57 years passed 9 years ago of Alzheimer's.

I remarried 4 years ago and am seeing early symptoms in number 2.

Ed1937

Larry, I'm sorry. It could be that there is something else causing the symptoms. Please have her checked.

M1

Oh Larry. Agree with Ed. I am both very lonely but wary of any future relationships for this very reason. Among others. The one I had would be hard to top.

Nowhere

Perhaps prior dementia caregivers are on heightened alert for possible signs of dementia, something Akin to PTSD? May it be that your present wife is just experiencing normal aging senior forgetfulness. 🙏

At any rate, ask her to see her doctor with you so that fears can be addressed or alleviated.

harshedbuzz

LarryD-

I am sorry for what you are seeing and how that would weigh on you. My dad was the one with dementia and now I ruminate over every squirrelly thing my 85-year-old seriously ADHD mother does.

HB

Quilting brings calm

I am also highly alert to everything my immediate circle does now. It’s how I picked up on my step-dads issues. So now I’m caring for two dementia people( mom and him). My spouse has always been impulsive and doesn’t think like I do so I jokingly tell him that I will only know if he gets dementia when I get a call saying he took a wrong turn in town and ended up 3 hours away from me. He supposedly doesn’t have ADHD but he’s always acted similarly to those that do.

On a serious note, have the doctor run some blood tests etc. Low B12, anxiety, depression, thyroid issues, medication side effects can all show up as confusion and erratic behavior.

Do not be hesitant to request help or admit you can’t do this 24/7 this time. You are 9 years older than what you were at the end of your first wife’s illness, and even older from the beginning of it. That changes things.

Dutiful One

Hi, Larry. Sorry you are going through this again. I spent about a decade providing care for my mother, who passed away a few years ago. Before she died, I began noticing issues with my husband that raised a lot of red flags. His mother, too, has a great many dementia -like symptoms.

It seems like spending so much time in the throes of dementia caregiving has created a sort of radar for detecting symptoms earlier.

eaglemom

Larry that has to be frightening for you. As other's have said, until she's had a medical workup this could be something easily correctable. Has she mentioned noticing things herself? As quickly and kindly as possible I'd encourage you to see if she won't have a full medical workup.

I can't imagine how you are feeling about this. Please come back to the message board and share with us what you find out. And more importantly how you are doing.

eagle

mrahope

FWIW, what Quilting said re: ADHD rings true for me, too. I suspect my husband had/has pre-existing ADHD. He has always been impulsive and had a quick temper He is restless, too. My suspicions were reinforced when the neurologist presented ADHD as a possible reason for his symptoms on the first appointment. Unfortunately, time has removed all doubt about whether he has dementia. ADHD is still a maybe, but in the larger scheme of things no longer matters.

So, so sorry you are seeing this. And yes, a thorough check-up is definitely in order.

Paris20

I’m so sorry. Of course a neurological work up must be on your list but first, as you know, rule out everything else. Good luck.

Lane Simonian

Larry, welcome back (if I remeber correctly), but very sorry for why you are back. I wish for much better this time.