Kicked out of memory care for wandering

KGMack

My Dad wanders into other people's rooms at memory care. Last week he did this when a patient's son was visiting and the son got very upset, which made my dad get upset and confused. The son complained saying that my dad is creating an unsafe environment. The memory care is now kicking my dad out because they are afraid of litgiation. My questions: Do people have good remedies for keeping memory care patients from going into other rooms? (They all seem to do it.)
Is this a legit reason to get kicked out? It seems it should be exactly why he is there.

VKB

Just guessing, but probably he needs a better memory care facility since many who have memory issues wander.....one reason they are in memory care. Prayed for you and your dad.

M1

This has been an issue at our facility too--not that my partner does it, but her room is near the dining area and is a frequent stop for others looking either for a bathroom --she has even found other residents asleep in her bed. she is able to lock her door from the inside and she does that sometimes. All the staff have keys and can unlock all doors. It's such a common behavior I don't see how it's a reason for being kicked out in and of itself. Warrants some in person discussion I would imagine to see if there are other possible remedies.

There is one very large man at my partner's facility who wanders a lot. He has to have a full-time personal attendant, which of course costs more. But that may be what you'll have to do.

ladyzetta

KGMack.

Sorry to hear this sad thing you're having to deal with, My DH was in MC and there were a few wanders, both men and women. They were very short staffed, but they always controlled the wanders. There were times when I was in my DHs room and they had this man who always forgot where his room was, so many times, I would help him find his room when he wandered into my DHs room and even when I saw him wandering the halls.

And you are right they all seem to do it. I blame the son for causing the problem. Family members also need to understand how MC works. These people are confused as it is so no reason to make it any worse. Have you talked to the director? If not, that might be a good idea.

harshedbuzz

I'm sorry this is happening to you.

Wandering is garden variety dementia behavior. That said, along with 'shopping", it is one of those realities of MCFs with which some family members just cannot deal. This is especially true if their LO hasn't yet exhibited the behavior.

Dad's MCF had doors that locked from the inside when closed (mandated in my state for this level of care). Dad's room was just off the main atrium area, and he liked his door open (fresh air and FOMO) so we had plenty of random residents popping in to his displeasure. They really unnerved my mom as she didn't feel comfortable redirecting some other resident and dad would be insisting she run them off.

The son should have gotten assistance from a staff member, but perhaps they were busy elsewhere. Perhaps your dad's reaction felt aggressive to the son and he genuinely feared for her safety. Maybe his mom has had issues with intruders before. When my aunt (she'd had a stroke and was no longer ambulatory) was in MCF, one of the male residents believed her to be his girlfriend and was caught naked climbing into her bed which was very upsetting for us.

HB

Quilting brings calm

I’m sorry this happened to you. Wandering is one of the reasons people need to be in MC. It’s too bad that the MC is somehow a) not competent enough to know this or b) willing to kowtow to one patient’s family at the expense of others. I think the other person’s son will have a rude awakening down the line in regard to his complaining about other patient wandering - not that that will help you.

SDianeL

I thought that's why you pay more for memory care so they can keep them from wandering. Unbelievable. I would talk to the administrator and report them to the agency that governs them.

terei

Unless you keep them locked up, how do you suggest preventing wandering? No MC has one on one staffing + that’s what would be needed.

It is certainly an issue in every MC.

QuincyLF

Wow - that seems like an extreme reaction. The MC we have my father placed in fully understands dementia patients will wander. It's part of the disease. They keep the resident's doors closed when they aren't in them - and are only really propped open if they have personal visitors that can redirect other residents from entering.

GemsWinner12

Hello and So Very Sorry to hear that your parent may be asked to leave due to wandering behavior. As others have stated, it's Very Common for dementia/Alzheimer's patients to get lost/wander. A man at my Mom's facility actually got into bed with her by mistake (thinking she was his wife and that he was at his former home). If possible, could you ask to speak with your loved one's medical provider concerning a tweak or change in medication? You might also ask to have a conference/discussion with management concerning their decision and what (if anything) you and the medical provider in coordination with staff, could do to prevent the necessity for a move?

During the course of her Alzheimer's journey, my Mom was moved three times. Each move seemed to worsen her overall condition. On the other hand, is this really a good fit for your loved one and you? If he and you are given the "heave-ho" notice so quickly, will this keep you on pins and needles going forward? For instance, if a date forgot to open a car door or kiss you goodbye once, would that be reason enough to break up?

admarise

So sorry this is happening to you and your dad. I would try to have a conversation with the management at the facility. Try to find out what exactly happened. Just wandering in to another resident room should not be grounds to kick him out. I can tell you my mom is at a long term care facility and was at the memory care area and she had multiple people walk in to her room. She had some behavioral issues and was move to the behavioral unit at the same facility. And there she still have other residents walk in to her room. Wandering is a normal for dementia patients. It is a way of release energy. Good luck!!!

M1

Flagged. You need permission from the site to solicit

Jo C.

Each Memory Care is different from the next. Some have more highly functioning residents, others cater to much more compromised residents. Some are licensed under Assisted Living license, others are licensed under a SNF license.

In the first facility my mother was in, there was a large man who always wandered but he had a penchant for my mother's bed. He would climb in and go to sleep. She was very afraid of him and she also did not like a stranger on her linens and pillow; I do not blame her. He could get irritable.

He was an ongoing problem issue no matter how staff tried to deal with it. They finally explained to the man's family that despite all their management attempts, their father was a consistent source of upset and fear for other residents and they explained they could no longer meet his needs. They suggested they needed a Memory Care that was set up and licensed for more compromised residents and that is what they did..

One size does not fit all in so much as we all learn very quickly. It is so hard on families who are doing the best they can under significant challenges.

J.