My Bob is gone

riajean

Hello. My beloved husband, Bob, passed away in his sleep on Thursday, 3.23.2023. It was unexpected by the staff, by Hospice as he wasn't showing the "clinical" signs of actively dying. When I was with him just days before, he was consumed. Wouldn't make eye contact, no recognition, sleeping on/off, smiled briefly when I took his hand. That's it. Had a strange feeling. Told him I loved him before I left and then got the call before 6 AM on Thursday. After 9 years of this, though it was expected, I was still in shock. Dreading the impending funeral and all the past friends and family, the many arrangements, my sons, and so much more, I lived through it though hardly remember it. I'm saddened to my core. 34 years of marriage, though we met when we were kids 50 years ago. How will I go on without this man? My marriage is over. My life as I knew it is over. The years of caregiving, hypervigilance, worries, financial difficulties, nursing care, rules, restrictions, changes, ER visits, bills and SO much more, I'm at a total loss.

Hard to imagine one more life on this planet, as being 66, I've lived many, how will I begin another? So surreal.

Thank you for all your input, guidance, well-wishes, caring thoughts and advice over these many years. Without you where would I truly be? Need to say you've given me so much and hope I was able to help others as well. This board has been an incredible gift.

Sad, tired, lost....working toward getting through the inevitable grief and hoping to see the light at the end of this dark tunnel soon.

Love, Maria (Riajean)

PookieBlue

Riajean, I am so sorry for your loss. What a great picture of Bob. He must have been a happy, loving man. May the angels guide and comfort you during this difficult time.

Dio

Riajean, so sorry for your loss. My condolences! Please start taking care of yourself...and yes, life is worth living, so you will carry on to the next leg in your life journey. May the days ahead be filled with wonder and joy!

M1

Im so sorry riajean. We are the same age, and i wonder the same thing. I feel too worn out to reinvent myself. Nature, time, patience are the three great physicians.

Daughter of a Marine

I'm so very sorry for your loss, dear one. I hope you take some comfort in knowing that you surrounded your Bob with your love and care and made sure he was well cared for. I believe that at some level he knew and felt that he was dearly loved. Surrounding you with prayers for peace and comfort.

Nowhere

Maria,

So sorry for your loss. Wishing for you peace. No need to figure out tomorrow. Just deal with each hour as it presents. And when you’re too tired, excuse yourself and rest. It’s okay. Let others take care of you in this time of grief.

storycrafter

Such a profound and devastating loss. May you shelter in the love surrounding you....

Mint

Maria I’m so very sorry for your loss your dear husband. Thank you for sharing the picture of Bob.

harshedbuzz

Maria-

I am sorry for the loss of your dear Bob.

Please be gentle with yourself in the coming days and months as you find your own way forward.

HB

Joe C.

Maria, My sincere condolences on the loss of your husband. May you find peace in the days ahead.

toolbeltexpert

Maria so sorry for your loss. Please keep posting how your doing. You are in my prayers

Stewart

Davegrant

Sorry for your loss. I wish you peace in the coming days .

Ed1937

Riajean, I'm so sorry for such a devastating loss. May you have strength and peace in the coming times.

Marta

I, too, had that 9 year journey, losing my beloved when I was 66.

This may mean nothing to you now, but I just want to plant a tiny seed which I hope will grow, to say that there IS life after Alzheimer’s.

My thoughts are with you.

Joydean

Sending my condolences on the lost of your husband. Praying for peace, comfort and strength for you in coming days. God bless you and your family.

ImMaggieMae

Maria, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you can find comfort in the memories of the good times. I’m glad you had the opportunity to tell him you loved him. He may no longer be here physically, but the love will always remain. Please take care of yourself.

LilySue

My wonderful DH passed away on 1/18/23 eleven years after a stroke basically took him away from me, and I think I can understand your feelings because I share them. We waited a month to have a "memorial open house" for about 50 friends with many photos of the good years. Don't hurry things - take your time and share him with family and friends when your ready. I still suddenly burst into tears and expect this will be my life for quite awhile.

I signed up for an online grief workshop with John Pavlovitz. If you're interested, check it out. My kids wanted me to see a therapist for the grief, but I believe this will be a better way for me.

eaglemom

I am so sorry for your loss. Please accept my deepest condolences. Focus on the good times and memories. And focus on you. The grief is real.

Feel free to return to the message boards whenever you feel like connecting again.

eagle

Sandy1956

I’m so very sorry, dear one. Rest and take good care of yourself.

LadyTexan

Dear Maria.

I am so sorry. May God comfort and support you and your loved ones.

Beachfan

Dear Riajean,

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you peace and comfort going forth. I have followed your posts and long admired your unfailing support and love for your DH. You both deserve rest and calm now. Take care.

riajean

Can't thank everyone enough for your beautiful well-wishes, condolences and love. Trying to figure out how to go on from here and it seems unreal and unattainable. Maybe in time? But having spent so much time already, I'm tired. We are all tired on this board. Just, thank you.