By Beachfan- - The other shoe has dropped.

Beachfan

In the blink of an eye, yesterday morning, DH began projectile vomiting “emesis”- - coagulated blood and bile, most likely the result of an internal bleed. He could not stand or walk. I could not be reached (the ringer was turned off on my brand new iPhone 13- - I hate technology). Erring on the side of caution, he was transported by ambulance from his MCF to the ER (I had asked to be notified when medical emergencies occurred so that a decision could be made regarding transporting him or on site management). When I finally spoke with the ER doctor, she agreed with me and discouraged any invasive testing or treatment, given his age and advanced dementia. She sent him back to the MCF with a request for hospice.

Today when I arrived, he had vomited again, possibly aspirated, and was laying in bed, gurgling, breathing rapidly, pulse ox was 82. The hospice nurse advised me to gather family today/tonight as he was declining rapidly. He is on oxygen, administered morphine and lorazepam (and something else- -?) and seemed to be resting comfortably when I left. My daughter spent the day there with me and her “pop”. My local son will travel to the MCF soon and I will return to the MCF as well and spend the night. Pray for us if you pray; think of us if you don’t. (Jim on the porch in Cape May in happier days.)

ladyzetta

(((Beach))))) Your both in my prayers. Hugs Zetta

Battlebuddy

Oh no !

your post brought tears to my eyes. I’m so very sorry Beachfan. You have been such a great caregiver. I’ll be praying for you and the family.

quinnr

Sending you love and support as he makes his transition.

M1

My heart is with you. Prayers and thoughts both.

LilySue

Oh, Beachfan, I've thought of you so many times, and it seemed your life as it's been would go on forever, stable and comfortable. It does seem that conditions of those so challenged with dementia can take a downward turn much faster than we expect. I'm glad you have your children close, it means so much, and that you can be with him at this critical time. I was in the bed with Lance when he breathed his last in January, and it gives me great comfort that I was with him whether he knew it or not. I knew it.

loveskitties

Dear Beachfan,

I am so sorry for this turn of events.

My prayers are with you and your family at this time.

May your DH be peaceful and without suffering.

We are never ready.

Quilting brings calm

What a shock! I think we are never prepared for that shoe to drop even though we expect it to. I hope he goes peacefully and that you feel like you’ve said everything to him that you wanted to.

Joydean

Prayers for you, your husband and your family! May God give you strength and peace.. Thank you for sharing the picture of your husband with us. A very nice picture and he looks very comfortable!

Vitruvius

I have followed your journey since joining years ago since my DW and I are right behind you it seems.

I wish you, your DH, and your family comfort and peace in the coming days.

Jgirl57

Beachfan; in a blink of an eye for sure . Lovely Cape May photo. I am a Jerseygirl and have followed your story . I live in Texas now. Hugs to you as these difficult hours pass.

Ed1937

Beachfan, I'm so sorry for the turn of events. Prayers coming for the family.

Nowhere

Hi Beachfan,

I’m a fan of you and your husband, too. You’ve been so supportive of many on this site, and now, suddenly, this! I’m very sorry to hear of your husband’s struggle, and hope that the hospice drugs keep him calm and comfortable. Keeping you both in my prayers.

ImMaggieMae

Keeping you both in my prayers.

Colt99

Thoughts and prayers to your family. We all dread when that shoe will fall but we know that sooner or later it will.

Elshack

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May your dear husband pass peacefully. Hospice is so helpful when our loved one is near the end of his life.

Dio

Beachfan,

My thoughts are with you and your family! May his passage be a peaceful one surrounded by love.

Joe C.

Beachfan, My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I have always felt a connection to your especially based on our placement timeline. I will keep you in my prayers!

Jeff86

Sorry to read of this development, Beachfan. My thoughts are with you.

mrahope

No matter what your expectations were/are, this has to be a terrible jolt for all concerned. I am glad hospice can help him some and I'm praying for peace and strength for all of you.

Another Day

Keeping you, your husband and the family in my prayers. May you find the peace and strength you need at this time.

ladyzetta

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers today. Hugs Zetta

Lills

My dearest 'sister'! I, too, had tears in my eyes when reading this. Believe me, there is nothing you can do to prepare yourself for what may come. Just being with your DH is a gift for you and for him. I believe with all my heart that on some level, he 'knows' you are with him. I'm so sorry; it must have been a shock! Just know, that we are all thinking of you. Hospice, as you know, is incredible and I'm so glad you and your family can lean on them. Take care and I'm praying for you!!

PookieBlue

Beach fan, May the Lord wrap his arms around you with love and comfort.

JoseyWales

(((Beachfan))) Sending my thoughts and prayers to you right now.

tigersmom

Beachfan, I am so very sorry to hear this. I am keeping you close in my thoughts and prayers.

mrl

I'm rattling the beads for you, God Bless,

Michele

Josie in Podunk

Dear Beachfan…

I am so sorry for this turn of events.

I hope Hospice is as helpful to you as it was to my sister and I when our mom needed it.

I wish you peace.

Josie

White Crane

Dear Beachfan, my heart goes out to you and your family. I am praying for you and for your DH. Thank you for posting the picture. It helps me visualize him as I pray. Sending much love and many hugs.

Brenda

Beachfan

Thank you so much, all of you, for the kind words, encouragement, offers of prayer and support. I am starting day 3 of the “vigil”, having slept one night in my clothes in a chair (not recommended) and Wednesday and Thursday on a blow up mattress. DH was expected to pass on the first night (Tuesday), so I hadn’t made any arrangements for overnight “sleep -aways”. Yesterday, I joined a table of verbal residents at breakfast and told them I had a blow up mattress; “Jill” shrieked, “WHAT??? Your mattress blew up- -? How did that happen?” (There is always levity to be found no matter how dire the situation,)

My kids are here, so DH is never alone. The middle kid, Mikey, DISOBEYED me and flew in from Texas “Don’t tell mom- - she told me not to come home- -I’m comin’!” I am astonished at the unconditional love DH has received from staff and management. 3 caregivers came by on their day off to visit DH, afraid they would miss seeing him otherwise. Hospice has been invaluable in the short time they’ve been engaged, and if wasn’t for the noisy oxygen machine, it would actually be calm and restful. And so I wait for the inevitable; the wait is hard, the inevitable will be crushing, I’m sure. I can do this. I am armed with a strong faith and Holy Water, blest on Easter. (I sprinkled holy water on DH on day 1; my daughter said, “Oh gosh, Mom, he’ll burst into flames!”- - I am the church goer; DH is just a good, kind person.)

Best wishes to all of you and I will keep you posted. Thank you again.

jfkoc

Thank you for the update....my heart is with you