Siblings relationships

2parents/brain change

My husband and I have two parents with Alzheimers/dementia. Brain changes. How do other handle the following, my mom calls my oldest brother repeatedly from the home where she lives with his son and daughter and begs for him to take to his home. His is 73 with COPD. He is going to stop answering her calls, and I encouraged him to do this. Our mom is safe and well cared for. Any hope she will ever stop? This has been going on for a very long time.

M1

It may eventually stop, but for his own sanity this sounds like a good thing. Is there a way to limit her phone access? Or give her a phone that is not hooked up? Just wondering.

harshedbuzz

This is a super common dementia behavior.

It can happen when PWD lives with a family member, in a well-run MCF and even when the PWD is in their own home of many years. Most experts here feel that the desire for home is more about returning to an emotional space that feels familiar and safe to them.

Since the phone is the instrument being used, that's where you'll find your solution. If he's using mobile, you could put it into airplane mode or take if off the family plan. (Which would allow him to still use it for entertainment assuming it's a smart phone). You could also lose it for him. Sometimes loss of the visual trigger is the kinder option.

Your brother could get a burner for dad to call on which he'd leave a calming outgoing message for dad to hear. Then he could return calls when he is up for it.

HB

terei

Almost always, phone numbers in these cases are preloaded + accessed with one button. TURN THIS OFF so he cannot call the person with

one button. If the phone is problematical, there are many ways to handle it, including removing the battery or even removing phone altogether.

JustPyrfect

I too had to delete some peoples phone numbers from my moms phone. Others have blocked her so they don't get bombarded with phone calls. This happened with my mom in the beginning stages - but she has progressed past that. It will pass, you just need to find a way to manage it until then