BURNOUT

Angelbaby87

i am so give out that I didn't even give yall any details..IM A LIVE IN CAREGIVER WORKING 7 DAYS A WEEK 24/7.. so its so much on me right now and its only fri...i dont get off until mon morning 😖 i work 7 days a week then off 7 days..i dont know what to do to not get stressed or anxious when shes having a dementia episode...her son has control over everything..her meds and doc appointments and still hasn't found something to help her w the anxiety and insomnia...its driving me crazy

[Deleted User]

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Angelbaby87

i live in Salisbury NC and ive never heard of any laws like that.and honestly$175 per day sounds good and all but im only making$100 more then i was when i was in a warehouse job so i dont think its worth it to be honest...we have to document everything she does and her behavior... that's what i thought anyway...come to find out my client has been through 5 different agency.so her family does not want me or the other caregiver to write anything negative like confused behavior etc.they want me to sugar coat it which is stupid as hell.how will they know how her behavior is if we dont document it??? and the other caregiver has 30 years of experience so i look bad compared to her...$175 a day for 7 days 24/7 is not worth getting cussed out often by patient.i don't have any me time during the day...when she has an episode i try to give her space...it used to work but now she follows me.im literally sick from this.i have been throwing up off and on for 2 hours due to nerves and stress

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Angelbaby87

ok thank you so much 🙏☺️

Quilting brings calm

I read your other posts about Pivot Transfer, first timer, anxiety and Caregiver Stress. If I understand you correctly across all the posts, you have no experience as a caregiver for hire. You were hired because the patient has behavioral issues, is in at least moderate dementia and bridges have been burned with several agencies. The family is trying to whitewash the behavior most likely so that they can get her into a facility.

It sounds as if the doubling of your salary made the difference for you in taking this job. I understand that because the extra income is very important. However I think this is a disaster waiting to happen for you. You haven’t been trained in how to deal with this and she will either wander off, fall or become combative with you. All of which could put you in legal jeopardy.

If you want to continue, please spend every spare minute you have reading various dementia books etc. several have been mentioned to posters here on other threads. Watch videos from people like Teepa Snow.

No one should have put you in this position - brand new paid caregivers without dementia training or should not be taking care of dementia patients. Especially 24/7 7 days on at a time. It’s not fair to you or her.

MP8

I'm assuming that you are only paid when you are on duty and not on your off weeks. If that's true, $175/day is really $87.50 for 24-hour care. That's just for context.

I also understand how the family must be desperate. At the same time, your being so exhausted and dealing with your own stress isn't providing a safe environment for the client.

Please take care.

Marta

On the opening page of the caregivers forum, there are SIX threads started by you, Angel. You already know that you are in way over your head. Can you articulate why you just don’t bow out of the situation? I admire you for wanting to stick with it and seeking help here. Please save yourself.

towhee

Every story you hear on the news about an elderly person getting hurt or wandering away at a facility has one thing in common, the facility tries to blame the caregiver and usually fires the caregiver. I do not think agencies are any different, or family that hires privately either. And heaven forbid, you lose your temper and yell something mean at her, since you said the home has cameras. Really think hard about whether this particular job is worth it. If you give notice maybe the agency could reassign you.

Angelbaby87

quilting brings calm:

yes she wandered off yesterday chasing the neighborhood cat into her nbrs backyard.she got violent w me when i told her that she needed to go back home...no one trained me and I talked w the main director of the company and she said that there is no type of training for this position...umm yea there is...she sent me some teepa snow.so im going to watch them on my time off...the patient and i get along very well when she's not in an episode..and i love that i get to work in the home..its like home away from home..im just taking it personally as if it's my fault or im not doing my job if she has an episode which puts alot of stress on me emotionally when she us out of control... thank you for the response.and w the pivot transfer..my company will not send me to another patient that is impaired mobility..i only watch my patient w dementia..i will never be put back in that kind of position.. thank you

Angelbaby87

im sorry everyone..but i am not giving up on her...i do a great job...i just need to not take it personally...i believe in myself and love a challenge...if you dont face your fears in life then you will never overcome it.theres always help out there and some good advice not negativity... my doc recently put me on anxiety meds so i can be at ease...its working..me and this lady have bonded together... laughing, talking, eating, everything...it would break my heart if i just gave up on her...im not a quitter...i become stronger....

Angelbaby87

ty for responding tho...

SDianeL

there are resources for you to get training online. Just search for them. Also a nurse suggested that I read the book "The 36-Hour Day" and it has helped me so much. The library probably has a copy if you can't afford to buy one. It would help the family too. Leave it on the coffee table for them to read. Speak to them and pour your heart out until you get their attention. You care deeply I can tell and they should appreciate that. There are things you can do to stop the wandering and getting out. Special Locks. Our Sheriff's office has bracelets for dementia and high risk patients to wear so they can find them easily. She could get hurt or die unless she's properly cared for. You do not want that on your conscience. Get training. Get help. Please. https://www.alz.org/help-support/resources/care-education-resources

Angelbaby87

thank you so much for being positive.everyone else has told me to quit...a few was positive.i will definitely look into the book... and she wonders off bc we go outside to sit on porch... she will Chase the nbr hood cat... shes gotten very attached to the cat and thinks its hers .. that's the main issue we are having w her ..i told her son about it and he said hes going to take the cat somewhere else.and yes i need to learn about dementia and put it in my head that shes not being hateful towards me on purpose..

Angelbaby87

MP8

i have had a better experience with my patient over the weekend.we have been having an issue w the cat..her son said he's going to get rid of the cat but is so busy at work that he hasn't yet.. but i def bring home way more then $87 s day.i get paid by the day...so the money is worth it compared to working a full time physical labor job working 8 to 10 hours a day with only a couple of breaks..i love being in a home setting where i can do what i want when i want.. and the scrubs are a plus ..i think they are so cute...when i first started i was a wreck...but reading about dementia and watching videos has helped me alot...

Iris L.

There is book available online that used to be recommended for caregiving guidance. You can search for the PDF. Search for "coach Broyles playbook". Be careful of the spelling.